Twisted Nerve
by mrandmrsstabler
Summary: To everyone else, they were Matt and Julia De Losa The perfect couple, with the ideal marriage He was a full time professional chef, with an interest in architecture and political science, and she was an interior designer with her own column in a local home magazine After three years of marriage and five years of time alone, they were trying for a baby- courtesy of SVU and the FBI
1. What Have We Done To Each Other?

**JUST SOMETHING FUN FOR THE HOLIDAYS. TOTAL BENSARO! ****DISCLAIMER: **_This is a collective collaboration that features **plot lines, and content from a published work of fiction**. **We did not write nor do we have any ownership over some of the material and or content in this story. It belongs solely to their respective authors and publishing companies, whom will be cited at the end.** This is not intended for distribution. _

**FOR NICKANDLIV - MERRY CHRISTMAS**

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><p><em>It wasn't real<em>. That was what Olivia had told herself, time and time again. She turned her head up to the pulse of the shower and let the hot water pour down over her face until the heated pounding numbed her skin. Every time she got in the shower, she stayed a little longer, because she wanted her thoughts to run down the drain to. But nothing, not even the scalding hot temperature of her shower could make her forget the bitter reality, that was all too true.

_Her marriage wasn't real._

Admitting it to herself for the upteenth time sent trills of frustration through out her body, and she violently snapped the water off, closing her eyes against the unwanted feelings. The sudden silence, the sound of her uneven, ragged breathing was unnaturally loud and disturbing as it echoed against the wet tile in the shower.

She twisted the diamond on her finger and tried not to cry.

She considered turning the shower back on, to stay a little longer but _he _had caught her.

"Olivia?"

The sound of his voice, only slightly drowned under the fresh rush of water- came to her from the direction of the doorway between the bathroom and the adjoining bedroom, making her lids fly open, brown eyes staring at the cubicle door in shock.

Blurred and distorted through the thickly frosted glass, she could just make out the shape of her pretend husband's tall, powerful, figure, the rich color of his hair. But she didn't need to see him clearly. Her memory and her imagination could instantly supply the rest.

And that imagination swiftly recalled every single one of his harsh stunning features. Smooth, tanned skin, the vibrant glossy gleam of his hair, the deep flint of his brown eyes. And all of that set on the tautly muscled body of a natural athlete with wide straight shoulders, broad chest, narrow hips and powerful legs. Legs that were always firm on the ground for her to depend on.

"You in here?"

"Let's hope so." Her voice didn't quite have the strength or the genuine lift of humor she hoped for, but she was struggling with too many feelings to be able to control it properly. Even at a distance, knowing that Nick, her partner, was there in the doorway, made her naked skin tingle all over.

It was as if the low, faintly, husky rasp of his voice was like a caress over her exposed flesh, bringing the blood spraining to the surface, and setting a pulse throbbing at her temples.

"You excited for our thing tonight?"

A shiver ran down Olivia's spine. Did he know what it did to her to hear those words on his tongue? To catch the deep dark, faintly possessive note in the sensual voice? To recognize just what it was that had put it there. To know that what he really thought he possessed was _her?_

To the rest of the people in town Nick might be her husband, the man with whom she was supposed to be celebrating her first wedding anniversary this late December evening, but Olivia knew that the real truth was much more complicated than that. And that was what had set here mind on its restless disturbed pattern of thought for some days now.

"Of course I am," she said in a voice that was not her own.

"Well, we don't want to be late," Nick went on, as he finished brushing his teeth. He cut the sink off and reached for one of the huge, thick towels, shaking out its folds, holding it ready. And Olivia knew he was waiting for her.

Since they'd gone undercover, Olivia had gotten in the habit of Nick doing things for her. It was all part of what the FBI had called, interactive role playing. It required playing the role of husband and wife at all times, even behind closed doors, and that was where Olivia struggled to maintain a level of professionalism.

In the beginning, when it was just SVU, it seemed simple enough. Stay in the house, play the happy couple, keep an eye out for the bad guy, and bag him when your finished. But what had happened? The bad guy had an interest in Olivia, and he noticed that their chemistry wasn't nearly as close as it should have been for a newlywed couple, and what better way then to prove him wrong with a baby.

So now you're probably thinking, well that's easy. Just announce it to your fake friends, and we'll give you a body piece to wear.

No.

Their perp was the leading obstetrician in the county, and part of his MO was forming a personal bond with mother and child. It was an incredibly tedious case, and it had some weird connections within the community. They had already figured out while working with SVU that the doctor was working with the real estate agents. They'd been two weeks deep when Fin noticed a pattern, that only newlyweds with hopes of having a family were allowed to _stay_.

If the couples didn't have a baby or weren't pregnant, the wives were raped, there was usually a disappearance, and if conception still didn't take place, then murder and death followed. In the past ten years, there were over twenty murders in the county, all newlyweds, all going to see this doctor. By luck, the county's last victim was able to get word out, that was how SVU caught on, but before they could make a case the vic turned up dead, and the crime scene was swiped clean.

Talk about team work.

Be that as it may, Olivia and Nick had only been working the case for six months. And I guess you could say, things were beginning to take a toll on her. Everything she'd ever wanted- the house, the husband, the possibility of a baby- and none of it was real.

Olivia's personal battles were laid to rest as she opened the shower door and stepped out.

_Damn, damn, damn it! _Silently, Nick cursed his body's response to Olivia's physical appearance. He only had to see her to want her- and want her with a force and a hunger that came close to actual physical agony. The swift brutal tightening below his belt, the twist of desire, was so sharp, so savage, he had to bite back a cry of pain, of protest.

His gaze caught a single ringlet of water as it slid off the curve of Olivia's breasts and fell somewhere in between their legs. Did she know just how provocative she looked, standing there, trails of water still running down her body. Did she know what it did to him to see her lush form exposed so blatantly, revealing the high full breasts, the waist, the long smooth lines of hips and things, sweeping down to the delicate ankles and feet?

Of course she did! She couldn't be unaware of it. She saw and felt the results of her impact on him in bed every night for the past six months. It was necessary to put an end to the case. They had to have sex. She had to get pregnant. There was no walking around it. This was their job, and it was amazing.

Every moment he'd spent with her was amazing. Each day he fell in love with her more and more, and each night he hoped that he showed her something real, he hoped that she felt something so strong, that it wouldn't be so easy to let go once they closed the case, because he was hoping, really hoping that this idea of them together wouldn't just last for the remainder of the case, but for the remainder of their lives.

This was a real shot for them. From the moment he met her, Nick had nothing but wants for Olivia, but she'd been to wrapped up with someone else. Her ex-partner, Elliot, and while she told him, time and time again that there was never anything between them, Nick couldn't help but feel like they were more.

"Nick?"

His silence had disturbed her. Her brown eyes were narrowed in confusion, a frown drawing her fine, dark brows together.

She was so beautiful.

She had to know it. Surely no woman could see her face as it was now- with its high slanting cheekbones, the richly colored full mouth, the deep, deep, brown of her eyes- in all the purity of its essential beauty, every trace of make-up and any other artifice washed away, and not know how stunning she was in masculine eyes. In anyone's eyes.

And then suddenly the provocation was too much. His heart lurched, his body heating, a stinging tightness below his belt telling him instantly how much at the mercy of her seductive teasing he was. He had never been able to resist. Couldn't do so now.

"What time did we tell everyone to come?"

Reproach flashed from those beautiful eyes, a reproach he fully expected her to put into words.

"Eight."

He held out the white towel, forcing himself to ease the revealingly tight grip on the soft material. He followed another drop of water as it escaped from her hair slid down the middle path of her body. One more hot desire gave him a harsh, burning kick in the gut.

But then she was wiping it all away. The towel enfolded her perfect body, and something deep inside Nick twisted tightly. Her body, the one he learned better everyday, the one he cherished, was supposed to be the bait in all of this.

He wasn't exactly thrilled about it. Scratch that. He was pissed as shit. He didn't want anyone touching her. Ever. Not if he could help it. But of course it wouldn't have been his decision would it?

"What are you wearing?" The ease with which she walked over him only added to his mental torment, but Olivia couldn't stand his eyes on her anymore. She hated that she never knew what he was thinking. He was so different from the friendly, guy she met at SVU.

This Nick was different.

Quieter. Firmer. As if he were somehow more hostile than he had let on in his interview. Olivia had assumed it was a personality he acquired while in Afghanistan, but maybe not. Maybe it was just his frustration. Maybe he was struggling with the job, and it was too much for him. Olivia imagined some poor girl that he had been seeing before they had to move, and wondered if he missed her.

She wanted to tell him that it was ok if he thought about someone else, when they had sex. She was sure that was what he was doing, the things he would do to her body sometimes...there could be no other explanation. His stamina was unprecedented.

He was ready, all the time. He only had to get quiet, like he did a moment ago, and Olivia knew he would lose himself. She'd expected that he would try to kiss her, to hold her close. To assert the powerful sexual attraction that her whole body throbbing in response simply to the sound of his voice. But instead he'd shown her this strange, almost cold indifference and left her standing there.

Maybe it was really getting _hard-_

Olivia closed her eyes, as he came behind her, locking her in-between the counter and his waist. "Suit." She shivered at the heat of his mouth as it pressed on her neck. "Tie."And again when he pressed on her shoulder. His voice was uneven and rough, revealing his inner turmoil. She was beginning to lean into him, when he asked, "What's wrong?"

The question came so unexpectedly from behind that she jumped and her eyes snapped open. Her reaction pushed him further away.

"Wrong? What do you mean wrong?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

"Nick, I'm fine."

His response was an inarticulate sound of skeptical disbelief.

"You say that, but obviously something's bothering you. You've been quiet all month." The exact time frame of when they started to preform without condoms. "I know you're thinking about something." Her shrug was the definition of controlled indifference. She shook off his question as if it were totally unimportant. "I would have thought today, of all days you'd at least be excited. Everyone's gonna be here tonight. Cragen, Fin, Rollins, and you haven't said two words all day. Why are you so distant?"

_Because what's the point of getting your feelings involved, when we've been trained not to? _"It's just the case. The doctor's going to be here, the other couples...I know he's going to ask us a lot of questions."

"So you're nervous?"

"No." Olivia whipped around to face him, sending her drying dark hair over her shoulder.

"No?" That skeptical note was back in his voice.

"No." Olivia repeated.

Stress was the more articulated word. She couldn't wait to get away from this case. Attached couldn't even begin to describe what she was dealing with. She knew that it was more serious than what she would admit to herself. A relationship- fake as it was- was happening too soon after her break up with Elliot. Her mind, her body, her thoughts were fleeting further and further away, heading straight into Nick. Nervous wasn't the word. Every moment, she felt as if she were going to explode. She felt as if she were going to take full advantage of the entire situation, of Nick, and that's what scared her most.

This was only supposed to be a job. Nothing more. Twelve years with Elliot, and you'd think she'd learn how to deal with this situation by now. As she continued to get ready for the party, she refused to look at him. One look in her eyes, and he would read her face. And so she kept her own face stubbornly averted, staring fixedly at her own reflection in the mirror as she started to apply oil to her skin.

Because love had no part at all in this relationship. Not for this husband. Not for this wife. At least it hadn't in the beginning, when it was just another case. No emotions involved in any way. Or, rather, that was how it was supposed to have been. But not now. Now things had changed. Changed so fundamentally that she was no longer convinced that she could continue with the case in the way they had decided when they first arrived at the community. She didn't think she could continue with it in any way at all. Not unless things changed in a way that just didn't seem possible.

With each day that passed, playing the role of Nick's loving wife, got harder and harder. Because the stakes were so high. Because the case was so complex. They were told, and told again, that the only way they were going to catch this guy by the rules, was by breaking the rules. It seemed so simple then. But that was before she committed the worst crime in the book.

That's right. She had fallen head over heels, totally, recklessly, blindly, impossibly- irretrievably in love with this pretend husband of hers. And that love was the last thing he wanted from her. And the knowledge of that fact had driven her to very, _very_, desperate measures.

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><p><strong>I wonder what those measures could be ? Coming next, MORE ANGST, and then the dinner party. *GRIN*<strong>


	2. The Way He Looks At Me

**REVIEW**

**nickandliv: **Oh. My. God! I am LOVING this so far and the fact that it was written just for me...I feel so special! Thank you!

**You're welcome ;)**

**joyfulriri: **I need more. This is great! Just perfect! Bensaro is life!

**Apparently Bensaro is life! Glad you like the story ;)**

**cfhonan: **I absolutely loved this! I love Bensaro and I was so happy when I saw this. It's so great the way you wrote their inner thoughts and interactions. Update soon!

**Thrilled! Thanks for the review. So happy you like the story, but I can't take full credit! It's a crossover from a book I read last winter. So far what I've shared has minor tweaks to fit in with SVU, but our part in it will get stronger as the case progresses and the plot thickens. Just want to be honest! I'm citing all my work at the end, so if you really like the book you can check it out because it pans out into a completely different direction.**

**fayevdm**: What's this? Another intriguing story

**MMMMMM MAYBE! ;)**

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><p>"You know what I realized?" Nick said as he pulled a belt through his slacks. "We don't use any terms of endearment towards one another." Olivia's shot up at him in their reflection in the mirror. "Not honey, or sweetie...darling or baby."<p>

"Well, that's because all of this is for show, Nick. It's just a game. We're trying to catch a killer. The details of our personal life don't matter in the end." It was the nearest she dared come to expressing the whirling thoughts in her head, the pain that was burning in her heart. The nonchalant way in which he said it made matters even worse, heaping coals on the fires of misery she was already struggling with.

"Is that what's bugging you?" His expression was clear as day. He thought she was overthinking the situation. The way the words were cut off, sharp, cold and clipped, left her in no doubt at all that whatever control he had over his frustration was now rapidly wearing thin. All it would take was one more hesitation, an attempt to dodge the issue and he would lose it completely. And Nick's temper was something she didn't want to risk, especially not tonight.

It was really strange to think, Olivia sometimes had to tip toe around his mood. Nick wasn't an angry kind of guy. He was kind, and funny, and had all the qualities of a world class husband. He didn't just play the role, he overplayed it. And as any team player would, he expected that Olivia be the same, and put as much effort into this job as he did. Unfortunately, she had started doing the exact opposite, and the miscommunication or lack thereof, had pushed him into some serious mood swings.

If she were going to avoid one of them now, she'd have to be honest. That usually kept him quiet."It's the party," she tried again.

"What about the party?"

She inhaled sharply, letting it out in a deep suppressed sigh. "It's ridiculous. I can't believe the feds want us to throw this- Stepford House potluck, for an anniversary that doesn't exist. Why couldn't we have just had them over for a barbecue?"

"Ridiculous?"

The word was clearly the last one he had expected to hear.

"Well, we can't have a barbecue in the middle of the winter, Liv. And I think tonight is a great idea. Anniversary or no, we have plenty to celebrate." He put in hastily when she drew a swift, sharp breath in through her teeth, obviously priming herself for some sort of cutting retort.

"Oh really? Like what?"

"Managing to stay married longer than Kim Kardashian." His response was so stupid, Olivia had to laugh. Just a little. "Look, I know you're not thrilled about tonight, but let's just enjoy it. I can't wait to show you off, down there." Nick said, concluding with a firm but tender kiss on the side of her head. "Just let it loose a little." The black irony of his tone made Olivia wince but she forced herself to ignore it so that she had the nerve to continue.

"So, it doesn't bother you that none of this is real?"

It wasn't real. But she had dreamed that it could be, and that was the problem. She had dreamed of love and happy ever after and those had been stronger even than her longing to become a mother. But it was only as the fake mother of his child that Nick had wanted her. That was the only reason why they had crossed the lines that they did. She looked away as Nick frowned.

She'd caught him in the raw there, somehow. And it was clear he didn't like it. The stunning features darkened swiftly and with a rough movement he had closed the distance between them. The next moment hard fingers closed over her arms and she was wrenched up close to him. So close that she was forced to tilt her chin sharply in order to look up into his face. It was either that or bury her head in his shoulder, and with every one of her sense instantly on red alert at simply being near him she didn't dare to risk any close contact.

Already the warm, clean scent of his skin was coiling round her, unbearably provocative, instantly arousing. And his beautiful, sensual mouth was almost exactly at eye level; the temptation to lift her head just a little higher and press her lips to his was almost irresistible.

She could kiss him out of this mood, she knew. At least, she'd been able to do that in the past. But now, after that awkward moment in the bathroom when he'd completely blanked her, she didn't think she dared to risk it. The thought of another rejection was frankly more than she could bear. And besides her conscience was troubling her badly, as it had been for months now. When she had questioned the reality of the situation, what she had really meant was her own recent behavior, the guilty truth she was holding back.

"Not real..." Nick repeated, more quietly, but no less harshly. "This marriage is real, _baby_. It's exactly what we wanted. It's exactly what we've made it- and that makes it a lot more honest than most."

"Nick-" Olivia tried to break in, nerving herself to tell him that it wasn't, but he swept on, totally ignoring her attempted interjection.

"Believe me, there are many of those who start out believing that their love is for who ever who don't even last to their first anniversary. Plenty of marriage vows break at the first hurdle. They fall out of love as swiftly as they fell into it. One crisis and it's over- done. They hate each other and never want to see the other person's face again. So..."

Somewhere along the line he'd made a dangerous mistake, Nick told himself; the swift rush of his thoughts faltering, making him lose his train of argument. He should never have come so close. Never have caught hold of her like this. Never have crushed her up against him until they were almost melded into one, thigh to thigh, hip to hip, the softness of her breasts pressed against his chest. The clean, fresh scent of her skin, tantalizingly combined with the delicately perfumed shower gel she had been using, coiled around him, teasing his senses, making his head swim with desire.

His whole body was on fire. So hot that he could only be grateful for the fact that the double thickness of the towel that wrapped her acted as insulation between her skin and the burn of it. That, and the achingly swollen demand of his hunger for her that pressed urgently against the cradle of her hips. Swallowing hard to ease the raw dryness of his throat, he tried again.

"So- what we have is well worth celebrating."

"It's just a-

His fingers closed tighter around her arms. "Don't you dare say it!" He imploded. "What we have is what's right for us. And that's all that matters. I'm proud of what we're doing. So don't tell me it's just a job." A sudden, nastily uncomfortable twist of his conscience almost brought him up sharp, but he forced the uneasiness down again and hurried on, praying she hadn't sensed his hesitation. There wasn't a problem. These things took time. "We're celebrating six months together- no matter what the circumstances. That's real."

A sudden movement of her shoulders distracted him, drawing his eyes irresistibly to the rounded smoothness of her naked skin, still faintly flushed from the warmth of the shower. Techniqually she was still wrapped in her towel, but even the plush thickness, of all that cotton couldn't hide what he saw. Instantly his thoughts were distracted from the argument he was trying to express, diverted on to other, more sensual, more inviting paths.

"What's real is..." Olivia began, but he wasn't listening to her.

That shoulder was too tempting. The skin on it was so soft, so delicate. He couldn't resist lifting a hand to touch it, to stroke the gentles of caresses over it's curve, feeling the muscles beneath flex faintly, the shiver of response she was unable to hold back.

"What's real?"

It was a blend of husky sensuality and shaken laughter. He still hadn't got a grip on the way this woman made him feel. The incredible immediacy of his response to her, the instant, burning heat of arousal he felts as soon as he touched her.

"_This,_ is real." He muttered. Lowering his head, he pressed his lips to the edge of her shoulder, where the smooth length of her arm began, and he heard Olivia's involuntary gasp for more.

"This...and this..."

His mouth trailed slowly, deliberately towards the fine, arching line of her throat, stilling over the spot at the base of her neck where a heated pulse raced unevenly. With his face concealed against her skin, he let his mouth curve into a smile of sensual triumph as he sensed her instant response, the sudden change in the rhythm of her blood underneath his sort caress. With careful control he nipped gently at her flesh, eliciting another sigh of abandonment. "_This is what's real between us. The only real we need_."

His hands were on her skin too, now, fingers drifting over its satin warmth reminding themselves of the familiar lines of her bones, the dips and curves of her shape. One tangled in the still-damp fall of her hair, tugging lightly, while the other followed a dancing path along the front of the towel, finding the bunched- up spot where she'd knotted it firmly across her breasts and lingering provocatively.

"Real..." Olivia's echoing of his words was part agreement, part whisper of surrender, and against her neck his smile widened. Just the tip of his tongue snaked out and traced an erotic pattern from under hear to the point where her heated blood raged in a frantic pulse. Then he kissed his way back up again, this time letting his mouth drift round, over the fine plane of her cheek and down to capture her lips. Her instant response, the way her mouth softened, opening immediately under his, allowing the intimate invasion of his tongue, gave him the encouragement he was seeking.

"The only reality," he said thickly, letting his fingers tiptoe back along the top of the towel, the tiny stiffening of curved body betraying her unspoken disappointment. "Our reality..."

This time he trailed his hand slowly, ever more slowly, towards it's chosen target. Each movement of his fingertips described a graceful arc, then a full circle, coming close—closer—then drifting away again. Olivia's mouth didn't leave his for a second, her kiss was still as strong, as deeply intimate as before, but he knew from the tension of every muscle, the watchful tightness of her whole body, that every ounce of her concentration was centered on just one thing. She was as aware of his touch on her skin as he was, waiting—and wanting—him to achieve his aim.

And when he once again reached the spot where that knot held place—loosening rapidly now under the pressure of the tiny wriggles and twists of response that Olivia was unable to hold back, he simply let his hand stay still. Simply let it rest with the heat of one wide, hard palm covering the exposed upper slope of her breast, one long finger tucked just inside the white towelling, between it and the warmth of her skin, hidden in the scented, secret valley of her cleavage.

"Nick..."

His name was just a sigh, forced out from her in the moment that her whole body froze, her entire being centred, or so it seemed, on that one small, burningly intimate point of contact between them. The point where all he had to do was make one tiny movement—either out and away _upwards_, leaving her skimpy protection secure and intact—or up and away, _towards_ his chest, taking the towelling with him, breaking the weakening knot once and for all.

And still he waited.

"Say it."

It was more impatient now. Very definitely a protest. They were so close, so very close.

"Tell me it's real," he murmured softly, and saw her deep brown eyes fly open at the calculated provocation of the word.

He met the indigo burn of her gaze head-on, fixing and holding it so that there was no way she could look away, look anywhere but directly into his eyes.

"Say it," he said, low and huskily, and saw the surrender in her eyes before she even had a chance to open her mouth.

"It's real." she whispered on a note of submission, a note that yielded the victory to him—at least in this battle, if not the entire war.

And for Nick it was enough. It was all that he had been waiting for. If he was honest with himself, he couldn't have held out for a moment longer. The force of his desire was like a fire in his blood, the ache in his loins threatening to drive all hope of control from his mind, push him into the sort of wild behaviour that left no room for thought or consideration. And it took every last trace of control that he possessed to kiss her just once more before he made the movement they had both been waiting for.

Up and away, _towards_ his chest.

A twist, a tiny tug, and the white towelling fell to the floor, pooling on the carpet at their feet. In the same instant the soft, heated weight of her breasts tumbled free and he held them securely, one in each of his hands, the whiteness of her skin shocking against the darker tones of his fingers.

It's real, Olivia thought, adrift on a sea of wanting. Of need.

_Our_ reality.

The truth was that they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Hadn't been able to from the start, and still couldn't now. And so she had known that as soon as he touched her she was lost. That the wild, primitive pin-pricks of fire that started all over her skin would swiftly merge into one total, blazing conflagration that would take control of her, leave her totally at its mercy. And when he kissed her she felt the response deep inside, where everything tightened, tensed, woke to stinging need.

His hands against her breasts and the touch of his mouth on her skin was turning her blood molten, making it pound fiercely in her veins. All the fears, all the doubts of the day, of only moments before, had evaporated, burned up in the blaze of heat inside her.

"Want me?"

It was a low, husky whisper against the curve of her ear, his breath feathering against her skin. And as he spoke his hands were working a wicked, tormenting magic, thumbs describing tiny, erotic circles over the delicate surface, moving closer and closer to her tight nipple, making her shiver in convulsive delight.

"Want me?" he said again. And when she didn't answer he punished her by closing a finger and thumb over each straining bud, tugging softly until she moaned aloud in a conflict of rebellion and abandonment.

"Olivia?"

"_Now," _she breathed.

She was incapable of answering in any other way. Incapable of hiding her feelings from him. Incapable of pretending she felt anything more than the yearning, demanding hunger that had uncoiled deep inside her and was throbbing uncontrollably, low down in her body.

"Help me." There was a tremor in his voice that revealed the struggle he too was having to keep control over his powerful physical feelings. And when she tugged on his tie undoing it's knot, passion-blurred eyes on him, frowning in an effort to drag her thoughts back from the erotic paths they were following, he grinned and then kissed her again, pulling her waist up to his as she did so. Discarding the sliver of silk somewhere over his shoulder, Olivia dropped her hands, and laid them on his chest, just on the button band of his shirt.

"Really, quick." he whispered hotly. "Just an hour."

But this time Olivia needed no further urging. As soon as her fingers touched the soft linen of his shirt, felt the heat of his skin, the hardness of bone, the power of muscle, she was suddenly in the grip of a desperate hunger. She knew she couldn't rest until she could touch him, really touch him. Until she could feel his body without the barrier of any form of clothing between them at all.

And so she fumbled and wrenched at the small, pearly buttons, snatching them open, tugging, until one finally spun away to land with a small clatter somewhere on the nearby dressing table.

But neither Olivia nor Nick saw it go. Or cared where it fell. They were both intent on getting rid of as many clothes as possible, as quickly as possible, no thought for anything else.

Nick had already kicked off his shoes, yanked open his belt. He paused only for a moment as Olivia slid down his zip, peeled the elegant trousers over his hips and down the muscular length of his legs. Even as he freed himself from their clinging coils round his ankles she had made her way back up his body, hooking her thumbs into the sides of the black shorts, easing them away from the heat and pressure of his fierce erection.

Nick's breath hissed in again sharply and he froze instinctively.

His control was slipping fast. And, if he only knew it, so was hers. Her pulse was pounding so hard that her head felt light, her thoughts swimming. She wanted to take his mouth again, to taste him on her lips, on her tongue. She wanted him to enfold her in his arms, to take her down onto the bed with him, cover her with the hard weight of his body, fill her, take her—take her with him to the fulfilment they both knew was the inevitable, the only end of this shivering excitement.

And yet, at the same moment, she wanted to delay. Wanted to hold onto this thrill of anticipation for as long as she could, so that that fulfilment, when it came, would be beyond anything she had ever known before.

But, even as she hesitated, Nick took matters out of her control. Capturing her wrists in his hard grip, he held both of them prisoner easily in one hand while his other arm scooped her up off her feet and swung her over onto the bed, dropping her down onto the softness of the covers. While she was still recovering from having her breath snatched away by the suddenness of his response, he dispensed with what little remained of his clothing and came down beside her, pulling her roughly towards him.

His mouth crushed hers fiercely then danced away again, tongue and teeth tantalizing her skin, stroking, tasting, nipping at the softness of her earlobes, until Nick's erection was dripping with anticipation.

"No matter what you think, or how you feel, I want you to know that tonight you're mine."

Deep inside, Olivia shivered, her whole being seeming to turn to jelly. She had no doubt at all that he was serious. And she could only lie there, waiting, wanting everything he could give.

It wasn't as if they had never made love before. Six months together had given them knowledge of each other's bodies and all the secret pleasure spots that each of them possessed. It had created an understanding of how they both felt, how they reacted, what they liked and what they wanted. When to touch lightly, softly, gently and when to increase the pressure of a caress or the urgency of a movement until it was not just a stroke but more a demand without words.

But this time it was as if everything Nick did had a new skill, a new sensuality. Within seconds of his whispered threat Olivia was quivering under his hands, reduced to a shameless, abandoned wreck of hunger, only able to express her need through moans of delirious abandon. Several times she moved her restless body against his, yearning, pleading, seeking the ultimate fulfilment of his possession, only to have him shake his dark head in refusal and subject her to even more erotic torture. Only at last, when she was sure that she would die if he didn't take her _now_, did he move over her and consummate their lovemaking with one wild, fierce thrust of his body.

Olivia tore her mouth from his to cry out. The feeling of him, so thick and hard moving inside until he was deeper than any lover she'd ever had before was too much. Looking up into his eyes as he pounded his hips into hers, Olivia thought she was going to burn right there. They were so heavy with lust, so red with something she'd never seen before. She lived for that gaze, when he took her. Lived for it. It completed her ways she couldn't describe, much in the same way that his all too telling, male grunts did as he tried to get further and further in.

Nick kissed her and kissed her, sucking the warm scent of coconut from her skin, breathing through every swell of his member as he moved in and out of Olivia Benson.

And she was so wet!

She had to have had the smoothest, creamiest, tightest, pussy in the world.

The thought that her body was reacting so well to his, extracted another fierce growl from his throat, and Nick had to muffle it in the soft hills of her breasts or risk notifying the caterers downstairs- whom were actually undercover feds as well- that he was fucking the shit out of his wife.

His body was clenched up tight with the need to pump his seed inside her.

And she wanted it too. Olivia matched his thrusts with equal force beneath him, throwing their love making into a whole other level of rhythm. The kind that joined people together. The kind that made every slide in feel as good as every slide out. She pushed up to meet him, hard and fast, her juices slipping against his groin.

Nails clenched in his back, legs tied around his waist, she was panting- dying to get more of this reality Nick claimed they were.

"I'm gonna come so hard for you baby," Nick moaned. It might have been his words, it might have been the cool ease with which he slid in his term of endearment, or it might have been that last bump over clit, but she came- hard.

It seemed to Olivia that the world splintered around her even in those first few seconds of possession. There couldn't be any more pleasure, her whirling mind told her. Or if there could, then she couldn't cope with it.

It only took a few seconds to learn that she was wrong on both counts. There _was_ more, and in spite of feeling that she would split apart if she experienced it she now realised that it had only just started. Her blood singing in her veins, her pulse throbbing, she hummed with every forceful movement Nick made.

And then it was his turn. She stared up into his eyes, begging for him to say the words, that she was practically screaming with her own heart. But all that came was a breathless sigh, when at last he started to come inside her.

* * *

><p><strong>OK for real this time. The party is next. If you think that was crazy, wait until you meet the doctor. <strong>

**Sex vas mein *grinning***

**Next chapter tomorrow. More angst?**


	3. Background Noise

****nickandliv: ****HOLY SHITE! That was hot! This entire chapter, just one big fucking ball of heat...JESUS I just...YASSS!

**Oh? So you liked it? Ok. Let's see how you do, with the next chapter. **

**REVIEWS**

**joyfulriri: **Wow! That was definitely some serious angst! I love it! Please write more! The sooner the better! ** ️**

**Aaaa so glad you like it! **

**teleficsmovies211: **I'm so in! This was super hot. My Loves you have done it again!

**AAAAAA YES BAE! I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE! **

**addicted. writer: **That was soooooo amazing. Just, wow! I love this story so much and can't wait for the next chapter! Thank you!

**This is so cute! Best review ever. Glad you like the story. we're soooooooo happy you're with us! **

**ty: **I can't wait for the next chapter:)

**Me either! ;)**

**roganjalex: **This is wanderful plot line

**Thanks rogan! **

**roganjalex: **Absolutely perfect love the tension and drama

**You do? O man wait til you read chapter 4**

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><p>Time to pretend, Olivia told herself as she watched Nick talking with the rest of the husbands there that night. In the light of the huge glittering chandelier that hung from the high ceilings of the living room, the rich chestnut of his hair gleamed and shone, the copper lights in it seeming to catch fire and burn spectacularly. And the dark brown of his eyes had the glimmer of polished onyx, deep and impenetrable.<p>

It drew her in, which was good because they ended up having quite the turn out. The house was packed. In the far corner of the huge room, an enormous Christmas tree reached almost to the ornate ceiling, and gold and bronze garlands festooned the walls. It was a gorgeous, wonderful scene, but all she was conscious of was Nick.

Her eyes became dark with lust as she recalled how it had felt to be in his arms just a few hours before, the way he had held her close to the heat and strength of his body, his cheek pressed against hers.

Work was what had pushed them into the marriage. And lust had made the work possible. The sort of lust that had consumed the two of them in its fires earlier, so wild, so all-powerful that even now she could still feel her blood heat and her skin tingle just to think of it. The sort of lust that was so overwhelming that it couldn't be denied. It had brought them together, held them in thrall for the six months, and had seemed so overpowering that, in the absence of any other, stronger feeling, it had seemed enough to hold them together for as long as they wanted.

Work and lust. Lust and work.

Olivia tried to smile, she imagined she looked bleak and pale as she made her way over to him. She caught his eye the moment she reappeared in the room, and now he was silently beckoning her nearer so that she could be close to him. At his side. So he could wrap his arms around her, and inhale the scent he could only ever describe as Olivia.

Her skin went to flame as his fingers reached out and grabbed her waist to slide his hand behind her back. Nick's arms snaking round her waist and pulling her close with a casual possessiveness that made her heart thud high up in her throat. "Jim, Zack. Thank you for coming," Olivia smiled brightly.

"Are you kidding? Lisa wouldn't let me miss this for the world." Zack snorted obnoxiously, before throwing back another beer. The boys laughed about it, and Olivia did what wives did best. She stood there and looked pretty. The boys chatted something about work but it was hard for Olivia to keep her focus with Nick's hands on her. Even now he was teasing her. Promising her in secret, as his fingers rubbed trailed along her backside, to do so much more all in good time.

"Zack, how is Lisa?" Nick threw out there.

"Oh, she's good. Home with the kids. Drew got sick last night. Puked everywhere. Place is a mess. What about you guys? How's everything on the home front? You start thinking about kids yet?"

All her life she had dreamed of becoming a mother. She had enjoyed her work as a detective, knew she'd been good at it, but a child—children—of her own had always been at the centre of her thoughts. So it had come as something of a shock to her to find that, at thirty seven, almost thirty-eight, she was not only not yet a mother but also still single, without even a fiancé, or yet a boyfriend on the horizon. The fact that her brother, three years younger, was already the father of a two-year-old girl, with another child on the way, had only added to her feeling of emptiness, the yearning to have a family of her own.

And it had to be a family. She didn't want to be a single mother. A child had the right to two parents who loved and cared for it, and she was determined that her baby would have the best she could give it. But she had never expected that _she_ would fall a prey to that elusive illusion herself. And least of all that she would feel love for the man she was _married_ to.

She felt like a naïve adolescent right now, Olivia reflected wryly. Like some newly sexually awakened teenager, launched on her first major crush on the opposite sex. Thoughts of Nick crowded every second of her waking day. Dreams of him filled her nights. Heated, erotic, sensual dreams that had her waking restlessly, her heart throbbing, her breath ragged, and her skin so damp with perspiration that she felt sure that Nick, sleeping peacefully at her side, would sense it and, waking, want to know the reason for it.

In the beginning, in the days when work had been all that held them together, she had plenty of trouble in telling him how she was feeling. But now that they were comfortable with one another, she'd done it more times than she could count, reaching for him and entwining her arms around him to draw him closer. She had pressed her mouth to his, tangled her fingers in his hair, holding her body against the hard length of his, coiling long smooth limbs around his equally naked, hair-roughened ones.

_"I want you," she had been able to whisper to him then. "I want you more than I can say. I want you to make love to me—want you inside me—and I want it now!"_

Lust had made her brave, need had made her forthright. She had been totally direct about her feelings because they had been that basic, that uncomplicated. But as her emotions had changed, so had her approach to this husband of hers.

And so she had kept silent, and that silence had grown wider and deeper as the days and the weeks had passed. It was easier to keep silent. But keeping silent had also meant keeping her distance, and she knew that Nick had noticed her withdrawal. How long would it be, before he demanded an explanation? What happened earlier had only been the tip of his temper.

"I chose Julia as my wife, didn't I? We're the perfect combination of love and happiness."

He made it sound like a joke, and clearly Zack took it that he meant it flippantly, but deep inside Olivia felt something twist sharply at the thought that in fact he had spoken nothing but what he was supposed to say. The feds had been down their throat since day one about every detail. It pissed Olivia off, quite frankly. She hated that there were people trying to tell her how to do her job. But they were ill prepared. They needed to be manicured for the case, and start behaving like a real couple.

That was why they had come up with the idea to have them participate in interactive roleplaying. That way, the undercover situation was bullet proof.

"Breeding?"

A new masculine voice took up the conversation. Dr. Vigo Schrader caught the tail-end of Nick's remark. Olivia swallowed back the bit of bile in her throat. Everything about this man, creeped the hell out of her. He always smelled of woman's perfume, and he his finger nails were exceptionally polished. His olive tan skin always seemed oily, and he looked like he had one too many trips to the botox office.

"Who's talking about breeding? Matthew—Julia—have you got some news we should know?"

"Not yet." Olivia answered hastily, looking anywhere but into Nick's face. She could feel the color ebbing from her own cheeks as she delivered her words.

She agreed to get pregnant for the case. But as her own feelings about her husband had changed, so had her thoughts on bringing a baby into the middle of this mess. And now here, right in front of her, was the image of exactly why she had felt forced to take the decision she had.

"Well, it won't be long now. Your last exam proved to be quite impressive." Olivia knew Schrader was referring to her last check up. She and Nick had just sex not a few minutes before, and Schrader had surprised them both with a full exam, heightening Schrader's interest in her. What he did in that exam was definitely grounds for sexual assault, but the Feds had been clear that they wanted to catch him in the act, and so Olivia had to endure it all. Her cheeks burned a crimson red, just thinking about it.

Luckily at that moment the announcement of the fact that dinner was being served proved a very welcome diversion. For once she was grateful that they were surrounded by rich snobs. The natural formalities of these occasions meant that she could escape Schrader's invasive form of conversation and spend time with Nick.

"What do you want?" Nick asked, turning to corner her up against the wall.

"Anything. It doesn't matter. I'm not really hungry." She still seemed distracted. Still wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Okay, then. I'll just get what ever. Talk to Schrader before he loses interest with one of the other couples." Nick said, and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Olivia nodded, and let him go. She watched as he joined himself with Vigo again.

"Julia is in rare form tonight, Matthew. She's gorgeous, absolutely stunning. I trust you'll be taking full advantage of the situation tonight. Wouldn't want to do the job for you, would I, my boy?" Schrader's tone sounded gruffly behind him, making Nick wince inwardly. He supposed that compared to the doc he seem young, but he had never quite adjusted to the way the old man kept referring to him as 'my boy'.

"You know I will," Nick said casually, flashing his charismatic smile.

"Have you noticed she's been a bit different lately? I have to wonder, is anything wrong between you two? I thought you both looked so well last I saw you, now your back at each other's necks."

"No, nothing's wrong. She's just a little tired, that's all."

"Tired?" Schrader's response was a blatant snort of disbelief and disapproval. "But I presume that's a good sign, no? And there's nothing you want to tell me?" Schrader tried again.

Ruthlessly Nick squashed down the angry retort that rose to his lips. Telling this masochist that it was none of his business was not the way to handle this, even if it was the reply he most wanted to give. Schrader's obsession with pregnant women was disgusting. And his extra interest in Olivia didn't help anything. If Olivia were pregnant, Nick would try to keep it secret for as long as possible. No way was this freak getting anywhere near he and Olivia's baby.

"When and if we do have 'something to tell you'," he declared stiffly, "We'll tell you in our own good time and not before."

Schrader wasn't pleased. The way the thin old mouth clamped into a tight, hard line made that only too clear. That and the way his bristling dark brows drew together in a disapproving frown.

"I'd advise against that, Matthew. Julia will be a new mother. Anything can happen. I should be notified as soon as there's the slightest bit of suspicion, in case there's any need for intervention. You wouldn't want something to go wrong would you? Especially not something that could've been..._prevented._"

Nick breathed through that. He was fighting some serious demons to keep from strangling Schrader right then and there, and suddenly Nick didn't want Olivia anywhere near this man. Ever again. A few painfully silent moments passed and then he opened up again the way Matthew, the docile, oblivious husband was supposed to. "Then I guess we're waiting on her then." Nick said, turning to see Olivia smiling with one of the wives.

"Take good care of her, Matthew. Men like us don't get women like Julia everyday. You want to keep her around as long as possible." Schrader said, and then quietly sulked off.

Nick frowned. She did look rather washed out, he thought. Unusually pale, and, now that he studied her more closely, there were faint shadows under the beautiful eyes. Shadows that the skilful application of make-up hadn't quite concealed.

Under the elegant jacket and shirt his heart gave a sudden jolt, thudding against his ribs as a sudden suspicion slid into his head. Was it possible…?

"What did he say?" was her first question, as he had known it would be. But at least this time he was prepared. He'd been imagining things earlier, he told himself privately. There couldn't be anything wrong. He didn't feel as if there was anything wrong. And, if he'd read the signs right, then maybe Olivia had news for him that would put all his concerns aside once and for all.

"The usual. Prying in our personal lives."

He had himself almost back under control now. His tone was as even as he wanted, the smile he directed into her eyes apparently easy and without a care. He'd guessed her secret, he told himself. All he had to do was to give her the opportunity to tell him.

"Personal?" Olivia had reached for her glass of wine but now she paused with it lifted just partway from the tray.

_Pesonal?_ Just the thought sent tremors of shock running through her.

"He asked about you. He seemed interested in where things were going." He said it lightly enough, but suddenly there was a new note in his voice, one that hadn't been there before—and one that she couldn't begin to interpret properly.

"He didn't look interested—if anything he looked annoyed. Nick?" she tried again when he didn't answer her, instead reaching for a bread roll and breaking it open roughly. "Was he angry about something?"

Somewhere she'd overstepped some invisible line, crossed a boundary that she didn't even know existed. Nick didn't say a word but a sudden stiffening of his long body, the way the strong fingers tightened, a disturbing change in his eyes, all communicated silently the fact that he didn't want to answer the question.

Which of course only made her all the more anxious for him to do so.

"What did he say?"

For the space of a couple of uneven heartbeats she thought that he wasn't going to respond, and all the nerves in her body stretched taut in tension at the fear of just what he wanted to hide from her. But then suddenly Nick shrugged dismissively and lifted his clouded brown gaze to her face.

Nick knew it was too soon to say that he wanted more from her, especially since she was still struggling with losing Elliot, so he'd have to beat around the bush for now.

"Nothing. He just expected us to announce something tonight," he said carelessly, dropping the mutilated roll and reaching for his own glass in turn.

"You're kidding." Hastily Olivia put down the glass that she had lifted to her lips; suddenly knowing that she couldn't drink from it. Not now. Nick's words had made her throat close over abruptly. There was no way she could swallow anything without choking desperately.

"It means that much to him?"

"It's his MO. Of course it means that much it to him."

Nick's tone was as dry as his smile, but he had picked up his roll again and was methodically ripping it to pieces with a sort of suppressed violence that made her shiver inside just to watch it. She wished he would stop. That he would just stay still—anything other than this disturbing, worrying restlessness that was setting her teeth on edge.

"Do you ever wish you hadn't taken this job?"

That caught him up sharp, stilling the restless movement of his hands. And perversely, having wished that he would stop, Olivia was now forced to wish that he had done anything other than freeze as he had. His immobility, his silence, were terribly unnerving, and the way his jade-green gaze locked with hers made her feel as if something cold and unpleasant had just slithered uncomfortably down her spine, afflicting her with icy pins and needles all over.

"All the time," he answered at last. "If we hadn't gone out together that time—if I hadn't kissed you—then we wouldn't be where we are now."

They had only agreed to the date because they'd just been pitched the case. They needed to talk about it before they just signed up. The feds were involved so their friends had no jurisdiction in what happened. Olivia knew what kind of deal she was making, but Nick didn't, and she felt he needed to know before they agreed to do anything else. One Brooklyn pizza and three beers later, they were standing outside of her apartment.

"Why don't we just give them what they want?" he'd asked, the wry expression on his face, the hint of weary laughter in his voice revealing that he was as sick and tired of all this as she was. "We know how to do our jobs—it can't be that hard, and who knows, maybe we'll get lucky and they'll give us a raise."

"We could be under for a really long time Nick. I need you to understand that this can run a lot deeper than what you think. All it takes is one phone call and then we have to change. For good. Nick and Olivia won't exist anymore."

"Then, we'd better make sure Matthew and Julia De Losa, are better people than we ever were." He'd kissed her right after.

That had been their plan. But it hadn't worked out that way. Instead, life had turned the tables on them and they had found themselves unable to fight against the hand that fate had dealt them.

* * *

><p><strong>SOMETHING NEXT! SOME MORE BENSARO HEAT, SOME MORE CREEPY DOCTOR. <strong>


	4. A Sugar Storm

**nickandliv: **Doctor is hella creepy! And uhhhh..."  
>What he did in that exam was definitely grounds for sexual assault, but the Feds had been clear that they wanted to catch him in the act, and so Olivia had to endure it all."<br>Care to enlighten me on this? What the entire hell?

**aaaaaa. Interested are you? You know better! We never kiss and tell. **

**REVIEWS**

**joyfulriri: **Holly shit! He's a real psycho! I need some Bensaro moments and I wouldn't mind if this bastard dies in the next chapter. Lol. I know you can't kill him but I will keep hoping. Love you and your story!

**you are just the sweetest! I think we can all agree the doc is a complete creep- thanks for following our story! we have some ideas about how we're going to get rid of dr. creep but you're just going to have to wait and see! **

**cfhonan: **All caught up on the last 2 chapters and I can't get enough. So much a angst and sexiness between these two. The doctor is completely creepy and I hop he gets what he deserves.

**o trust me! He'll get what he deserves, and more. Glad you like the sexiness between these two ;)**

**roganjalex: **Beyond awesome I love seeing how it all started will they ever admit that they truly love each other

**thanks again rogan! will they ever admit? Hmmmmmm, I wonder...**

**addicted. writer: **Yessssssss! Man this is so amazing! Please update soon

**yesssssss man! You got it ;)**

* * *

><p>It was two in the morning when Nick and Olivia closed the door to their house for the final time. "I'm so happy tonight is finally over." Olivia declared, as she took off her earrings. "I'm beat."<p>

"Are you sure that's all it is?" Nick surprised her by asking, a new and unexpected edge to his voice making her eye him in consternation.

"Aren't you?"

His shrug appeared to be casual, perfectly indifferent, but the way he was watching her was the complete opposite. The piercing gaze made her think unnervingly of a keen-eyed, hunting hawk, circling high in the sky, above its prey, just waiting for the right moment to pounce. And the thought of Nick pouncing made her shiver involuntarily.

"Yeah, I just thought maybe it was something else," he said coolly.

"Like what?"

"You tell me."

He crossed the room to where a cognac bottle and a couple of glasses stood on a silver tray on the highly polished wood of the elegant sideboard. To Olivia's overly sensitised hearing the sound of the cork being pulled from the bottle seemed unnaturally loud in the quietness of the room. The only other sound was the faint hiss of the coal fire next to their obnoxiously big Christmas tree.

"Are you sure?" Nick's attention was apparently concentrated on the measure of spirit he was pouring, but something about the tension in the long, straight back that was turned to her warned Olivia not to rely on that impression in any way.

"Nick, what is this? Some sort of interrogation?"

"Only if you see it that way. Drink?"

He lifted the cognac bottle again and turned to her, one dark eyebrow lifting interrogatively. But at her shake of her head he set it down again with an expression on his face that tugged at something sharply, twisting her nerves in apprehension.

Nick slumped down on the couch, and opened up his arms so that she could sit with him. She didn't oblige. He was sure she'd have something to tell him. After that first flash of suspicion, the conviction had grown on him throughout what had remained of the rest of the evening, and everything about her behavior now confirmed it.

She hadn't said anything at the party, but then she hadn't had a chance to say anything. They had been interrupted several times over dinner by friends and colleagues, and then reassessed by the the squad in their pursuits in nailing Schrader.

And Olivia would want to tell him the news privately; he was convinced of that. After all, her longing to have a child, and his need to provide one for the case, had been so much a part of the secret reasons why they had agreed to the investigation. She wouldn't want it broadcast, even if the party this evening might have seemed like the perfect opportunity to announce the good news.

And it was good news—the best. It would stop Schrader once and for all—and it would bond the two of them together for the rest of their lives. With an effort he suppressed the grin that would betray the fact he'd spoiled her surprise by guessing too easily. If only she would stop messing around and tell him straight.

"You seemed like you had something on your mind earlier—and again at the party," Nick went on, cradling the crystal glass of cognac in his cupped hands.

Coming to sit in the armchair opposite, she leaned back in apparent relaxation, but once again it was the look in his eyes, the way their intently focused gaze was fixed on her face, that made Olivia feel uneasy.

If she'd struggled to try and tell him the truth before this evening, now she lost her nerve completely. Call her stupid, call her a coward, but what she wanted most in all the world was to have this one night—the night of their so called first anniversary—free of the explosion she knew must inevitably follow if she told Nick what she really did have on her mind.

"I told you, nothing's wrong. I'm fine…"

"Nothing's wrong." Nick repeated, his tone making it clear that he didn't believe her. "Well, in that case this is going to be a rather dull conversation."

Did he suspect something? Olivia racked her brains, trying to think of some way she'd given herself away. Or was it something completely different? Had she made some mistake at the party? Talked to some man for too long? Was he—could he be _jealous?_

Her heart lurched into an unnaturally fast, sharp, staccato rhythm at just the thought. If she could believe that Nick was jealous, then surely that meant he felt something for her? Something that went deeper and further than the sexual passion she knew burned in him for her body.

It was scary just how much it meant to her even to think of that possibility, to realise just how much hope she pinned on even the tiniest sign that he might care more than he ever let on. She only knew that it was what she wanted most in all the world.

"I think I will have a drink after all," she said jerkily, pushing herself to her feet before he could offer to get it for her.

At the sideboard, Olivia rejected the idea of a brandy, opting instead for a cold glass of water. Her throat was still parched, and besides she felt so painfully on edge that the thought of anything alcoholic didn't appeal. It would probably only add to the feeling that was buzzing uncomfortably around in her head.

Still standing, she gulped down half of the water before turning back to face Nick once more. The cooling effect of the water had eased her tension a little, made her feel confident enough to confront him.

"So what's this about?"

Nick had been raising the brandy glass to his lips as she spoke and he deliberately continued the action, swirling the amber liquid round and round and then taking a long, slow swallow before he spoke.

"Nothing," he stated flatly, making her frown in renewed confusion.

"Nothing? Then what…?"

"It's not what you've _done_," Nick inserted coolly, his eyes once more fixed on her face, watching the play of emotion across her expressive features, noting the bewilderment that clouded her wide brown eyes. "More like what you haven't done."

Haven't done?

All of Olivia's sense of relief evaporated as swiftly as it had come. What had she _not done?_ What had she missed out on? Forgotten?

"Well, aren't you going to tell me? The suspense is killing me- or are you just going to accuse me of for the rest of the night?"

"No accusations," he countered. "I've just been concerned about you."

It was the last thing she expected.

"Concerned?" Olivia let her eyes wander around the room, no longer knowing what to think. Concern was good, wasn't it? _Wasn't it?_ So why did she suddenly feel more on edge than ever?

"Concerned about what?"

"Your behavior. You've seemed on edge, not yourself. You hardly ate at dinner…"

"I wasn't hungry—"

"And you haven't been drinking." His dark eyes went to the cognac bottle and then back to the glass of water, still fogging slightly in the glass in her hand.

"And your point is?"

She must be slow on the uptake because her mind couldn't connect the things he was saying to anything she thought she'd done. No, something he said she'd _not_ done. What…? And then, hard and fast as a blow, and just as shocking in its impact, the truth dawned, rocking her back in her seat and making her hand shake so that some of the water slopped over the side and onto the rich blue velvet of her dress.

"I mean, I'm not pregnant, if that's what you mean."

It _was_ what he'd meant; that much was obvious. And he was shocked—appalled—to find out how wrong he had been. It was stamped onto the stunning features, etching lines around his nose and mouth. And the chestnut brown eyes were suddenly clouded with shock, hard fingers clenching tight over his glass until she fully expected to see the fine crystal shatter under the pressure.

"Are you sure?"

When he had been expecting to hear the exact opposite it was impossible to take in, or even understand what he was hearing. It couldn't be true. He had been so very sure…

"Yes. I'm positive."

"How positive?"

He felt as if he had received a blow in the chest, bruising it hard. His breath had been snatched away, leaving his lungs raw and painful, and his heart had jolted into a rough, uneven thunder that he could not get back under control.

"_Really _positive! I'm not pregnant, Nick."

"You can't be so sure…"

She had known that Nick took this job very seriously, but until she'd seen his reaction this evening she hadn't quite understood how _seriously_. But the rawness of his voice, the blaze of shock in his eyes had told its own story. She didn't know why Nick had been so convinced that she was expecting his child, but it was obvious that he was devastated to discover that she wasn't. And, having seen that, she didn't like to anticipate what might happen towards the end of the case when they went their separate ways. They hadn't really discussed it with the Feds, and they definitely hadn't discussed it themselves, but Olivia was on a no argument basis. She was keeping her baby, and no one was going to take him or her away. No one. End of story.

"How do you know?"

"I know my own body Nick! If I were pregnant I'd be aware of it. There would be changes…I'd feel different…" Her skin felt as if it was inflicted with stinging pins and needles, and, too nervous to sit still, she got to her feet, pacing restlessly to the window to stare out at the black, icy night.

"And you don't?" Nick shot at her. "Feel different, I mean?"

"No…"

Reflected in the dark window in front of her, she could see an image of the lighted room, so she knew when Nick got to his feet and turned towards her, his glass still in his hand. The eerie gleam of the tiny crescent moon cast shadows on his face, making his eyes just deep, dark caverns above the colourless planes of his cheeks.

He had made no secret at all of the fact that what he wanted most out of this gig was to bust Schrader—apart from the sex, of course. The sex they had both wanted. Wanted so desperately that they hadn't thought beyond the fact that going undercover had ensured they could share the same bed all night, every night, and no one, not even IAB, could interfere.

But she had hoped that from that desire something else would grow. She had dreamed, prayed that, like her, Nick would come to realize that this relationship meant so much more to him than just the blazing passion that had stopped him thinking straight. That he would want to make their fake marriage into such a real one that she would be happy—overjoyed—to have the baby of her dreams—and his, with him.

"No," she said flatly, still watching his reflected face in the glass. "No I don't feel any different at all."

The _feeling different_ had come months ago, when she had made the discovery that had changed her whole life. Since she had come to realize how much she loved Nick everything else had shifted, the balance of her life totally altering—for ever.

"I wish I could say I did, but it wouldn't be true. I'm sorry, Nick."

"Don't apologize."

His voice was rough, harsh, scraping uncomfortably over already raw nerves, and the arms she had laced round herself tightened in instinctive response.

"It's not your fault. It's mine."

That was so unexpected that it brought her swinging round, confusion darkening her eyes as they stared into his strongly carved face.

He had been shocked to see just how upset she'd been at having to admit to him that she wasn't pregnant. He hadn't realized how much the waiting, the wondering every month if this time they had conceived the so much wanted child, had affected her. It was no wonder that when Don gave them this case she had gone white as a ghost. Remembering how she had been unable to look at him, he cursed his insensitivity in bringing up the subject tonight of all nights, on the day he wanted everything to be special for her.

"That's good then." He almost convinced himself. But what mattered was that he convinced her. If Schrader was already suspicious that there might be a problem, then he didn't want the idea even crossing Olivia's mind. It was his job to make sure she had a baby. That would be the icing on Schrader's cake, and- with any luck- it would be the one thing that kept them together.

Okay, so if she wasn't already pregnant, then he knew just how to make sure she didn't stay that way. They'd made a good start earlier that evening; maybe she had already conceived from that explosive coupling and just didn't know it. Just remembering the stunning satisfaction of their lovemaking then made his body harden in savage demand, leaving him in no doubt that the process of fulfilling his ambition would be one he could enjoy very much indeed. And, with luck, by the time their next party came around they'd celebrate as parents as well as husband and wife.

He made himself smile, saw by the look in her eyes that it had been at least half convincing.

"I guess that just means we'll have to keep trying." With an unnatural effort he kept the words pitched at the casually relaxed level he had been aiming for, even though they stuck in his throat and had to be forced out before they choked him. He took a couple of slow, cautious steps towards her, careful not to startle her by any sudden movement. She had unwound a little, but she still looked as if one false move and she would panic, her head coming up and her eyes widening.

"We can practice a little more," he said softly. His mouth curved at the corners, the wicked smile making her catch her breath sharply as she gazed into the smoky darkness of his eyes. "And practicing can be so much fun." Another few steps and he was right next to her. Close enough to touch.

His eyes locking with hers, holding her still by the sheer force of his presence, he reached out and touched her cheek. Her response was immediate. Her head went back slightly, eyes half closing, and her lips parted to let out a single, soft sigh.

"Do...do we need to practice?" she managed, and the shake in her voice brought a smile to his lips.

"What do you think?"

Light as a breath, the question danced over Olivia's senses, warming her blood and making her heart kick in her breast. The hand Nick had rested against her cheek moved softly, trailing a burning path down her face, her neck, touching the exposed curve of a breast for the briefest second. Olivia's throat dried instantly and she licked her suddenly parched lips, watching Nick's darkened gaze drop downwards to follow the revealing movement.

"_I_ thought we were getting pretty good at things." The provocative tone, the deliberate, slanting glance she shot him, were like a bolt of electricity that sizzled through every awakened nerve, the tingling sensation of delight making him laugh out loud.

"But I still haven't shown you my best," Olivia trembled in his arms, her cheeks flushed red.

They were back on familiar ground, she reflected. On the well-trodden, safe, path that could only lead one way and end up in once place—in their bed, making wild, passionate love.

No, not love.

The unwanted thought sliced coldly into her thoughts like a blade of ice, threatening to destroy the beginnings of sensual awareness, the lazy uncoiling of need that had started with Nick's smile. _She_ would make love, but Nick, as always, would only indulge in his appetite for sex, feeling no other deeper emotion than that.

So could she go through with it? Could she take the little he had to offer and ask for nothing more? Could she continue with this simply physical love when her heart was crying out for an emotional response from him?

She had to. It was either that or nothing. She had played this game, put on an act that this was enough, for so many months now. Surely it would get easier the more often she did it. And besides, her body was already in the grip of the waves of heat that simply thinking about going to bed with Nick always awoke in her. Heavy, cloying waves, like thick, heated honey, that were filling her thoughts, clouding her mind, making it impossible to argue with herself.

"So what do you want to show me?" she breathed.

He tugged softly at her hair, his fingers tangling, gripping in the wave of her hair. His gaze fixed and intent, smoky with desire. And then he gently lifted her face to his. His kiss was slow, enticing, seductive, seeming to draw her soul out of her body and let it soar. And with her soul went all hope of rational thought, any attempt at trying to keep a grip on her feelings.

In the space of a single thudding heartbeat she went up in flames, the heat of passion raging through every nerve in her slender form. She didn't want to think; she only wanted Nick. And she wanted him with a hunger that was out of control, so that she trembled in his arms, grateful for the strength of their support that held her upright.

And all the time his hands were busy in her hair, pulling her more closely into him.

_"Nick..."_

His name was a choking cry of hunger, a shaken expression of the stinging current of need that was making her body twist and writhe in an agony of expectation. And each unthinking, uncontrolled movement brought her up against the hard reality of his strength, the powerful thrust of the hot desire that was potent as some elemental force, concealed but not in any way reduced by the civilised covering of his clothing.

Through the red cloud that hazed her thoughts she heard the faint sound of the long zip at the back of her dress sliding down, felt the sides of material fall apart as it slithered away from her to lie in a gold sequins pool around her feet.

She heard a rawly indrawn breath, barely a whisper of sound on his lips. And his eyes were black with desire as they caressed every exposed inch of her body. And she was fully exposed. The pattern of the dress she wore didn't allow for her to wear a bra, and because they had slept together right before the party, she would have ruined any lingerie with the remnants of their lovemaking, so she ditched them.

Her heart thudded at the sound of his ragged breathing. He was staring at her. Hotly. Intensely, tugging at his tie with pure sexual, male frustration. In a rapid movement he got it from around his neck, and Olivia stepped up to him to help him take off his coat. That went in the pile. And then next his shirt, as Nick pulled it from his chest, popping the buttons as he went.

Olivia put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him. Moaning, breathing, sucking the air from his lips as his hands began their own unique exploration of her body. His palm, smooth and warm cupped around her bottom and spread her legs apart. Olivia shivered, breathing harder as they kissed. The shiver had been totally contradictory to the way she was feeling. Her exposed skin might have reacted to the touch of the cool night air, but deep inside she was all heat and molten passion. Her blood raced through in her veins, the heavy, throbbing pulse of desire setting up between her thighs and making her legs weaken beneath her. He stuck his fingers inside her folds, testing, teasing, rubbing the honeydew on the sloping path of her entrance.

Nick kissed her harder, stronger, more deliberately with each stroke. _"I'll show you...but you have to do something for me," _Nick said softly, when he broke their kiss. He whispered his words to the inner parts of her neck, chanted them to her skin. Olivia all but nodded into his chest. "_I want you to..._" he whispered the rest in her ear, and Olivia trembled. It might have been his request, or maybe it was the feeling of his touch so abruptly leaving her. She wasn't entirely sure. But she wanted it back. And the only way she was going to do that was if she did what he asked.

Her cheeks burned red as she made her way over to the couch. She knew he was watching her, and that made it all the more embarrassing. She got down on her back and propped her legs up for him to see, and for moment she just lied there. Shivering at the cold air as it kissed her right where she needed it most. Shivering as Nick with his very tantalizing eyes looked on with approval. Her chest rose and fell in violent heaves as she slowly drew her hand down the middle of her body until it rested in between her legs, and that had been her undoing.

She moved slow at first, but the more she got into it the feistier she became. Her eyes rolled back and she had to close them as the heat got hotter, as the want left her body and soaked her fingers. She was panting, her fingers sliding, as she stared back at Nick. Each stroke was right on target and pushed her even further over the edge. She tried, to keep her eyes open, but it was no use. Soon she had them closed, soon she was moaning, arching into her own touch. His name coming softly from her lips.

_"Nick...Nick...Nick..." _

Her hips thrusted into her hand in strong rhythmic pulses until at last she was hanging on the edge. Her eyes flew opened at the sound of another equally lustful moan, and she saw Nick standing there, watching. Stroking himself at her own pleasure. That had done it for her, and she came hard. In violent thunderous, convulsions, hunching over, squeezing her legs together as she cried out.

And then she relaxed.

Fell back into the couch. Her face whitening out from the heat. She turned her head away from him, almost ashamed, and closed her eyes as if she were going to sleep. Exhausted from that one surprising feeling of release. She rested. She breathed.

And then he was there.

Licking, sucking, kissing the now swollen parts of herself. She winced, her hips writhing into his mouth in a plea to get away. She was still so tender. Even the nip of his teeth hurt more than it should have, and he wouldn't stop either. He feasted himself on her. Sipping every sweetening drop until she was near raw again. By the time he was finished she was aching for the fullness, only he could give.

Waiting, staring, he lifted his head from her parted thighs, his mouth glistening with fluids before doing the unmentionable and hovering over her. Olivia braced herself, her eyes going from his to his lips as she pulled him closer, into her. She kissed him with just the tip of him inside her. And with each passing moment he went deeper and deeper and deeper until they were connected and joined at the hip.

He went slow. He made it lazy, he moved at the pace of every gasp that left her parted lips.

His name was a whisper, soft as breath against his cheek, and as she spoke she lifted herself into him and pressed her body close to his. The scent of her skin surrounded him, made his head swim. A wild pulse beat at his temples, pagan and erotic, and the pressure of her taut breasts against the frame of his chest was a sensual torment to his flesh.

_"Nick_…_"_ she whispered again. As soon as he heard her low, uninhibited moan, the red-hot tide that he knew was waiting swept upwards and over him, engulfing his thoughts until he was lost.

She welcomed the impatient urgency of his hands on her breasts, the tiny, snatched, nipping bites he took at her skin, the force with which he held her close against him, almost crushing the breath from her lungs.

Not that she minded at all. Even as he reached for her again she felt her own hunger rise to match his own. He had only to brush his hand over her skin, to press his lips to the quivering flesh of her body to start a raging conflagration of desire that seared along every nerve, scorching every cell in its path. Every touch, every caress, every kiss heaped response on response until she was clinging to him in mindless hunger, almost sobbing aloud in her need.

He became harder, moved faster, stronger. His length pummeling her with an indescribable feeling. His pace was noteworthy.

Olivia had never known Nick so wild, so out of control. On every other occasion he had always taken the time and the care to make sure that she was as fully involved in their lovemaking as he was, that she was fully aroused before he went any further. But this time he was so totally abandoned to the sensual passion that had him in its grip that it was clear he had neither the control nor the thought to allow for such considerations. She held him closer, searching his eyes as they fed hers with wild intent.

He grunted above her, gripping one of her breast in his hand, his forehead pressed against hers.

_"Fuck..." _Olivia panted. They were close now. His thrusts became choppier, less calculated and Olivia knew he was getting ready to blow. He clutched her hair, pulled it tighter, sucked her lips, kissed her with more force. His hips jamming them into her open legs until finally he stopped. He moved not the slightest bit deeper- the deepest he'd ever gone, and finally let go. Olivia right after him, her muscles pulling more out of him as he began to fill her with his seed. She felt it spilling in hot, thick spurts, shooting somewhere inside her and sliding down somewhere else. Olivia was a shuddering, mindless wreck, her face streaked with the tears of delight that had escaped from under her closed lids without her even being aware of it. Nick moved still within her, just dragging out the pleasure until he could do no more.

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><p><strong>Think they made a baby?<strong>


	5. Something Disposable

**nickandliv: **Considering I got pregnant just reading it, they damn well better have!

***grinning!***

**REVIEWS**

**roganjalex: **And so it continues to build cant wait for more

**Hope we didn't keep you waiting too long! ;)**

**ty: **MORE! Please?

**You got it dude! **

**madison188: **So I just stumbled onto this story and I am captivated! Love the relationship between Nick and Olivia on the show and I think you've done a good job at showing it within this story. This idea of them being undercover together is great. However, the fact that they are supposed to get pregnant to solve the case is surprising (even if they're working for the feds). They've gotta know that they can't work together in the same department after this case. So that'll be interesting seeing how this all unfurls.

Also, will we discover what happened to Elliot? What about Zara and Gil? Is Nick around 30 if Liv is 37?

**Yes, I agree the requirements of the case are very surprising, but that's what I love about the story. You don't expect it! If this were real, I doubt they would go to these lengths to catch a guy. Plot's got some holes but I like them. Wouldn't say that they can't work together in the same department after this case though ;) But I will say the ending will probably surprise the hell out of you! If you'd like to know more about what happened with Elliot I'm open to sharing that. However, Zara and Gil don't exist in this FF, so if you're waiting for them, I'm sorry! :( And yes, you are right to assume the age difference between Nick and Liv. Thanks for reading though!**

**katechoco: **I think they did made a baby! Omg this story is hot hot hotter than a chilly pepper! And this doctor creepy as hell!

**o kate! you have so much to read!**

**addicted. writer: **Do I think they made a baby? I think I'm pregnant. Lmao! Intense!

**lol! I think I got everyone pregnant last chapter. nickandliv said the same thing. currently dying right now. **

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><p>It was the nip of the night that woke them from the doze into which they had drifted a little later, the fire having burned out and the cool air chilling their sweat-slicked bodies. This time Nick gathered her up and carried her up the staircase to their room. Laying her on the bed, he came down beside her, sensing her shivering reaction to the sudden touch of the sheets.<p>

Drawing her into the heat of his body, his touch stirring once more the aching need that only his possession could assuage. This time their intimacy was slower, languorous, each sensual delight drawn out to a point where she felt that her heart might actually break with the wonder of it all. She felt as if she was walking in the stars, whirling into the unknown spaces of the cosmos, losing herself entirely. And when the culmination of delight broke upon her it was as if her mind had shattered into a million, myriad fragments and she would never be whole again.

She slept after that, falling headlong into a deep dark pit of total exhaustion from which nothing could wake her, or the man who slept at her side.

Nothing, that was, until the cold, clear fingers of the late December dawn began to creep across the sky, warming it and brightening it so that the change in the light seeped under her closed eyelids. Disturbed, and suddenly, unexpectedly uneasy, Olivia stirred and frowned, wondering secretly just what was wrong.

Because something _was_ wrong. The warning lights in her thoughts told her that, the unexpected tension of her body, the twist of nerves in her stomach telling her to move. That now was the time for action.

Action on _what?_

The feeling seemed wrong. After the glory of the night, this morning she should feel complete, fulfilled—satiated. She was all of those. She was also worn out, lying in the warmth of the bed, close up against Nick's hard, lean form, her body limp with the aftermath of the storm of passion that had shaken it during the night.

But she also felt disturbingly unsettled, edgy, unnervingly rattled. And for no good reason that she could see or even begin to imagine.

_"What?"_

The sensation was so powerful that it pushed the whispered question from her lips as she turned over lazily onto her back, struggling to open eyes that had developed lids as heavy as lead.

Just what was wrong? Why did she feel as if she had swallowed something that lay weighty and uncomfortable on her stomach? She exhaled sharply before reluctantly opening her eyes. Nick had already begun to reach for her, nuzzling close again before whispering to her skin a sleepy, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know..." Olivia replied, her eyes lazily searching the soft lines of Nick's face. She reached out and touched his cheek, caressing the planes of his hairline, loving drifting her fingers in his hair.

Downstairs in the kitchen, a man dressed in black from head to toe, silently crept his way further into the house. Glass jars filled with baked goods, and stainless steel appliances stared at him as he navigated from one corner of the room to the other.

"Ok..." Nick said softly. "I'll go check it out." He promised, dipping his head to kiss her arm as she stroked his face. Hesitantly he rolled on his back and pulled away, making a point to stay with her as long as possible. His hand was the last to go as his fingers unraveled from hers so he could throw some clothes on. Olivia watched him with a heavy heart, something strong inside her wishing that they would last forever.

But their days were numbered as their guest entered into Nick's office. In darkness he made his way behind Nick's authentic, all wood desk. The scent of pure leather filling his nose as he hovered over the prestigious chair. He immediately went to work starting up Nick's computer and placing a blank disc inside.

Nick pulled a shirt over his head and with all the normality he could muster at four thirty in the morning he left their bedroom, scrubbing his eyes and scratching his hair. The hallway was pitch black as he lazily made his way down the short but wide corridor.

Cameras popped up on screen, and the guest started to type, beginning a process for downloading. While he waited he went through Nick's drawers and found recipes, billing information for catering gigs, financial records on restaurants he'd never even heard of- all besides the point.

_"Shit!" _Nick silently cursed himself he stubbed his toe on the edge of the bannister. A sweltering, jaw breaking jolt of pain shot up his leg as he clenched his eyes and teeth together. He groaned leaning on the bannister for support. He'd get some ice in the kitchen.

Leaving the office behind the man in black crept around the corner, ready to make the trip of stairs when an incoming sound from above alerted him to stand still. His instinct told him to act quickly, and without even thinking about it, he scurried back around the corner.

Nick limped down the stairs and headed straight for the kitchen. Walking towards the fridge he opened the door and pulled out a bottle of water, completely missing the man in black on the other side of the refrigerator door, conspicuously pressed up against the wall. Nick popped the water bottle open and flicked the cap on the counter before closing the fridge. He opened the freezer next.

The man in black came off the wall and slowly began to move.

Nick dug deeper and deeper into the freezer looking for a chunk of ice that wasn't an obnoxious size for a toe injury. Unfortunately for him they were out in the burbs, and in the burbs they only had ice appropriate for wine coolers. Nick sighed, and muttered a slur of curse words before finally finding what he was looking for.

He came out of the freezer and the ice went scattering across the floor as he dropped it from his hand. His heart thudding in surprise at Olivia standing not a few feet from him.

_"Jesus!" _he breathed.

Olivia smirked and flipped the light on. She bent down low to get the ice.

"Did I scare you?"

Nick gave an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes at her. "Yeah, we're gonna have to have a serious talk about this ninja stuff you do." Nick answered.

Olivia crossed the room to where he was standing and wrapped him in the warmth of her robe, once more joining their bodies together.

"Oh really?" Olivia taunted him, nipping at his chin.

"Yeah, really." Nick repeated, spanking her, before backing off. "I banged the crap out of my toe."

"I heard..."

He pulled out one of the stools from the island and plopped down on it drawing his knee into his chest. "Help me out Mrs. De Losa."

"Don't mind if I do, Mr. De Losa."

Mrs. and Mr. De Losa. It was a rare occasion that they actually used the names they were given for the case, but whenever they did, it always made Olivia laugh at how ridiculous it sounded. A Mr. and a Mrs.- she being the Mrs. and Nick being the Mr.

So strange.

So fulfilling. Her smile faded as her secret mantra began working it's way into the back of her head. _It's not real._ Nick noticed her change in mood as she knelt down at his foot to have a look. He had a blood bruise. Nothing a little TLC couldn't cure, but what about Olivia's wounds? Sometimes Nick wondered if she'd ever heal.

"Hey..." he said.

And she looked up at him.

"Where do you go when you make that face?"

Olivia flashed a small smile and shrugged. "No where..."

It was the truth as far as she was concerned. At the end of the day, sure the job was fun. It had it's ups. It had it's downs. But one day it was going to end, and so would all of the rest. No matter how badly she wanted him to be a part of her life, he was not an option in her future. Olivia swore that she would never allow for herself to be used in that way again.

She was not a take-out restaurant, and she knew that would be all Nick would ever expect from her. To be fair, she didn't know where his head was, but she knew one thing was for sure, and that was that they had mastered having sex together. You'd be surprised, but not many people no how to do that.

It just made sense. Nick was a man. They could sleep together and do their job, it was working so far, so why not later? Wouldn't they try to keep the fire burning after they sacked Schrader? Olivia shivered as she thought about their future. She'd still be pregnant from the case, they'd still be together because they hadn't quite remembered what it was like not to be.

The sex would still be there, and still be good. He might help out with the nursery, or even take her out for lunch sometimes, but as her due date would near he would drift further and further away. Sex would become more difficult as the baby grew, the fears of parenthood would suddenly hit him, and then after he'd dragged her heart across the road for miles he'd finally leave and put and end to it.

Olivia wondered if it would hurt again. She wondered if it would hurt as much as it did last time, the sudden recollection of so many heavy thoughts and emotions made her cringe. Nick caught her hand as she stood up and began to withdraw but she had been just far away enough where she could let go if she wanted to. And she did.

She put some distance in between them. Maybe it would do them some good.

"How are you holding up with everything?" Nick tried again.

"How do you mean?"

He shrugged. "Everything. Trying to get pregnant. What's going on in your head? You have to feel some sort of, I don't know, fear, don't you?"

"I'm not afraid. I've wanted this my whole life," Olivia muttered reluctantly.

"Yeah but...not like this," Nick retorted.

"Beggers can't be choosers."

Nick frowned at her, making a strange face that drew his black, straight brows forcefully together. Olivia could be so hard to read sometimes. There'd be moments where she was perfectly aligned with everything that was going on. On more than one occasion, Nick had been sure that she was able to feel what he had felt for her, just in the way she was with him, in her intimate mannerisms. Like how she was a few minutes ago when she came down and wrapped her arms around him.

That had been an honest side of Olivia. An open side. Then there'd be other times- like now- where she was completely boarded up. Nick felt like she was hiding somewhere behind wall after wall, after wall and he just...

He wanted to help her. He wanted to be there for her. He'd never met this Elliot guy everyone talked so much about, but Nick doubted he was a man worth her attention. In fact, Nick doubted he was a man at all. What guy in their right mind, could hurt someone like her?

She's love. Olivia is love. How could someone try and ruin that? Take it unkindly? Nick sulked and tore his eyes away from her. Beautiful as she was, all wrapped up in her robe, no makeup, softer than Sunday morning, Nick couldn't help but entertain his disgust for everything else that had to deal with her.

He loved and cared for her so much, he just didn't understand how something like that could've happened.

"Are you saying you begged for a baby?"

Olivia had avoided his gaze long enough. Tension was born under the exchange of their eyes. She glared at him, making it a point to keep her stare blank and unreadable. In truth, she had nothing to hide, but it was a personal subject. A delicate one. Maybe he would find out on his own. Maybe someone would slip up during a stakeout and just mention how happy she would be to be a parent.

Munch would cave first. He'd fill Nick in about Calvin, and then Fin would slide in information about how she tried to adopt, and failed- because the system ruled her to be an unfit mother, and then who knows. Maybe Cragen would set the record straight, and let Nick know that he hadn't fathered or tried to father a baby with an irresponsible woman.

In the end she merely shook her head. Nick didn't need to know what she went through to have a baby. He didn't need to know that she had tried tests and science experiments, and he certainly didn't need to know about that time that she _begged _to have a baby, because it didn't matter. All of that was in the past.

"Olivia," he growled savagely, the dark undertones of threat threading through his voice sparked surprise in her. Her eyes widened but she didn't give in. She'd had enough of giving in. Her face flushed a deep crimson red in her cheeks.

"What?" she sighed.

"Talk to me."

"I am."

"No you're not." Nick argued. Olivia retreated further into herself, and Nick realized that he raised his voice maybe too loud. He exhaled deeply, frustratingly. "I just- I don't get you sometimes."

"We barely know each other-

"We've been living together for six months, what are you talking about?"

"We've been living together for six months as Matt and Julia De Losa. An interior decorator and a professional chef. Nick and Olivia don't get to make an appearance, that's the way this works." Olivia answered, fight burning in her throat. Looking into Nick's cold set face, she felt her nerve shrivel up inside her. Her throat dried, and even swallowing hard did nothing at all to relieve the discomfort that Nick was now suffocating her with.

"Nick and Olivia don't make an appearance?" he repeated. "So who was it I just made love to? Who was upstairs with me?" he prompted harshly.

The memory of how it had felt to be in bed with him, to be held up close to the hard bone and heated skin of his body almost destroyed her, leaving her despairing of ever getting an answer out. He was so close to her that she could see the faint marks on his skin, tiny reddened patches that indicated the lack of control in her responses to his potent lovemaking during the night, making her shiver in sensual recollection that threatened to destroy what little was left of her composure.

But even through all of that deterioration, Olivia was able to cultivate her answer. The only answer there ever could've been.

_Olivia was, I was _

Standing there, looking into his eyes, she heard the words echoing in her head, but the moment for her to speak them never came. Or at least, Nick didn't give her one to, because now he was up on his feet walking away.

"Well then I guess we both know the answer to that one, don't we?" he'd said, before affectively left the room. Olivia could do nothing but breathe as the feeling of her chest breaking open started to bleed through her skin.

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><p><strong>Who the fuck was that in the house? And I ask again- think they made a baby? Madison188 made me dig deeper into that EO stuff. What the hell happened there? And this Bensaro tension- what the hell happened there? I'm going to let you guys cool down from the last chapter before I do another one ;)**


	6. Strange Activities

**THIS IS A VERY, VERY SHORT CHAPTER. I WROTE IT THAT WAY, BECAUSE I FELT LIKE THE INFORMATION NEEDED TO STAND ON IT'S OWN- YALL ARE GOING TO FREAK THE FUCK OUT.**

**nickandliv: **I don't like the idea of Nick being only 30 for a ton of reasons. Being only 30 would make him a rookie with SVU and therefore there'd be no way they'd put him under on a case of this magnitude. I understand why Olivia's age was brought down but I just assumed that Nick's was left as is - 39/40 or at least them being the same age. Now it's all weird. Since this was written for me, can he be 37 too, please?

**I agree, I just assumed that was the age gap between them. It seems so weird that he would be that much younger than her- Let's just say he's 38. **

**REVIEWS**

**teleficsmovies211: **I'm late... as in pregnant. I'm your 3rd baby mama from chapter 4. I love this story so much. I just wish they tell each other how they feel. Back to our baby. U can name it if it's a girl and I get to name it if it's a boy.

**nooooo! i can't stop laughing now! i'm gonna have to start paying child support on all these readers. what have i done?! oh geez! (hahaha) so glad you like the story, girl! but don't kill us when we break your heart- back to our baby. Sure thing ;) Name game is on.**

**katechoco: **Nooo we don't need to cool down, we want more :p I'm still positive that they made a baby! And the guy in black was probably that creepy doctor! :p

**ooooooo i can not wait for you to read this chapter :D**

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><p>The engine of an all black Lamborghini roared through the quiet roads of it's homeland suburban county. It's sleek, powerful design chauffeured it's driver to his place of interest at unmatchable speed. Five minutes from destination, the car was pulling up to the gate of a private estate.<p>

The driver rolled his window down and stuck his hand out to punch in the access code. Not a minute later the gates were opening, and once again, the car was moving forward. At a smooth pace, it navigated further up the winding hill, until at last it was joined with the other sports cars and motorcycles.

The driver- dressed in all black- hopped out of his seat, grabbing a very important file from the passenger side as he went. He took the stairs to the entrance two by two, and despite his appearance he was let into the decadent estate. Like his car, he was swift in his pursuit, exiting the grand foyer only to disappear down an exceptionally long corridor.

Portraits of the many occupants of the community, painted to perfection hung on the traditional, wood walls on either side of him. Breaking a sweat, he pulled his face mask off, revealing his identity.

If this were a movie, this would be the part, where everyone screams NO FUCKING WAY!

Because as this man neared the end of the hallway, and the sight of his face became all too clear, the music was getting louder, and the desire for the truth, was getting stronger.

Anxiously he entered the room and became a passerby to loud Jay-Z music and confetti as men horsed around like frat boys all over the place. The place looked like a scene right out of the Wolf of Wall street, as guys with their shirts untucked and their ties undone did body slams and shots of tequila in their underwear. They were doctors. They were lawyers. Husbands. Fathers- Real Estate Agents- important people. Winners. And the only thing missing, the only thing that kept this from being a truly unforgettable event was the tits.

Luckily, he had just the thing.

He just had to deliver it first. It was fucking impossible. Every time he pushed one asshole out of the way two more bumped into him, and made him almost trip over another. He was up to his neck in balls and vodka, by the time he got to _the desk- a_n enormous, wooden desk, just like all the other wooden desks in all the other houses in the county. Complete with a leather chair tighter than Pam Angela's ass cheeks. And tighter than that was his face, which this particular delivery man always felt the need to punch.

_The desk_, the face, the house, the car and everything else belonged to _him_. This obstetrician, Dr. Vigo Schrader.

"There's my boy, come now. What do you have?" Schrader urged under an oily smile. He was the only man in the room with his shirt still tucked in, and despite the height of etrocities going on about him, he smelled more like an expensive cigar and brandywine than cheap liquor and sweat.

The man in black placed the file on the desk. Schrader rose from his seat, only to sit again on the edge of his wooden table with his cigar wedged between his teeth. He took the file and opened it, dispensing it's contents in his hands. A single disc fell out and he inspected it as if it were a rare diamond- the rarest diamond in the world. He smiled into the face of the CD, his own reflection staring back down at him as he held it to the light. Confetti paraded around it.

"Is this really it?" Schrader asked, in a wholesome tone that made the man frown. "Relax my boy, it was only a laugh," Schrader cackled. "Come, let's have a look shall we?" The man in black did not seem at all enthused to walk through the zoo again, but it turned out to be different this time. With Schrader there was no bumping. With Schrader there was no pushing. There was only a clear, direct path as they made their way to the other end of the room.

Schrader was smiling, grinning from ear to ear as he held onto the disk. With the man in black at his side he stood at the end of the room, and merely lifted his hand, and within seconds it became quiet. The music was cut. The shouting had stopped. All were waiting on Schrader's announcement.

"As many of you all know, in a terrible accident, I lost my daughter a few years ago. And then, not soon after, my grandchild as well. Both of those incidents happened in the incompetent, undignified, disgusting, vile, despicable hands of the person standing next to me." Schrader let those words sink in, staring into the eyes of every man in that room. "This man right here," he pointed at the man in black and made a scoffing sound of disbelief that came out more like a bark than anything. "He killed them." He paused again, maybe for some sort of dramatic effect. Behind him, a projection screen was rolled out. "And now he has come to repay me." He delivered those words humbly, heartwarmingly. "My boys, what he is giving me, is more precious than any act of blood or indecency. What this man has come here to day to do, will change each of your lives- and mine forever. So it is with great pleasure, and extreme delight, that I present to you the making, of the next era."

The lights were dimmed, an old fashioned reel was played, counting down _5...4...3...2...1..._

And then everyone in that room had a clear view of Olivia, legs spread open, as she fingered herself.

The masculine roar of praise was unprecedented as the boys completely lost it. The madness resumed, only this time there was jerking off. Schrader made his way back to his desk and plopped down in his leather seat. He planned on watching the entire thing. From beginning to end.

The man in black decided that was his cue to leave. Schrader noticed this and rose conversation before he had the chance to escape. "Come," he near giggled the word. "Sit with me, we have much to discuss."

The man in black glared at Schrader who could only smile back. He had so much surgery that, that expression was his only option. The man had dreamed of feeding that face to a dog- several perhaps, but that was never going to happen was it? He breathed, drowned out the noise of the woman's lustful chants and sat under Schrader at the only seat available to him.

Schrader looked down at him, smiling. Always smiling. And lifted his hand towards the projection. The man reluctantly followed his direction, clenching his jaw as he witnessed penetration. Thirty hidden cameras- 240 total, had certainly done a hell of a job catching an angle.

"You were right," Schrader said somewhere close to the end. "She's perfect...The child will be perfect," Schrader puffed, his cigar. He placed a paternal hand on the man's shoulder. "Consider us friends, my boy. If you should ever need anything- anything at all..." The man couldn't sit still any longer. He couldn't watch another minute.

"I think I'll go to bed now," the man said.

Schrader stared at him for a long considerable time. He puffed another blow of thick white air, before smearing his cigar in his cigarette dish. "Very well. Off you go. I want you to know that I expect you up early- in time for breakfast. You and I need to discuss this Bureaucracy business. They've been here six months now. Their team is starting to realize there wasn't a real case to begin with. And it's too soon to tell if she's conceived. I need more time. I want to discuss this with you as soon as possible," Schrader explained. "Understood?" The man nodded. Schrader seemed satisfied enough. "You should be proud of yourself, _Elliot. _None of this would have ever been possible without you."

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><p><strong>OH YEAH, WE'RE GONNA DEAL WITH THIS SHIT- BUT FIRST<strong>

**BENSARO**


	7. Empty Places

**nickandliv: **I knew it would be Elliot. from the minute he snuck into the house I knew that it was him

**what! come on! damn...**

**REVIEWS**

**katechoco: **No No No No NO WAY OH MY GOD ELLIOT? REALLY? OH GOD, and they know they're under? And he just wants her to get her baby, I'm sure of it! Like hell :p Oh god. Olivia will kick Elliot's ass soo hard once she finds out he's into this!

**yes yes yes yes YES WAY! can't say too much about the other, other stuff- but, something will probably more than likely explode at some point**

**sunshyne2014: **OHHHH EMMMM GEEEEEE! Please let it be another Elliot! I. Just. Can't.! :P

**hey there new reader! welcome to the fun! so glad you're here! :P and I wish it were another Elliot :(**

**teleficsmovies211: **Wtf?! Why would... I can't believe he... after all they have gone through... I can't finish a thought. There are too many. Im too shocked to be heartbroken right now

**no! don't be sad! you're my friend, i don't want you to be sad :( it's gonna be ok...i think. **

**guest: **Say what! I was totally not expecting that! This is truly a gut wrencher! Wow!

**i knooooow right! *still screaming***

**roganjalex: **More tension what more can I ask for can't wait for the explosions

**did you see those fireworks!**

**roganjalex: **Oh my gosh surprised but had an instinct

**you and a few others! I have got to work on my timing! I think, I will have to stop dropping hints **

**joyfulriri: **First of all, I was really mad at myself for not reviewing the two previous chapters! Soooory girl! Secondly the Bensaro tension got me like "oh yeahh that's the perfect couple". And last but not least wtf? Elliot?

**aw! don't be mad! it's totally cool. We're really not the type of people to chase you guys down for reviews. ****Even though we love getting the chance to interact and start friendships with the readers, we never expect reviews. We're always surprised to get them, and we love hearing from you no matter how silly or critical it may be. It's really important to us that you guys feel comfortable with us, and that you guys are as much a part of the story as possible, so don't sweat it! You've been a great supporter from the beginning, we won't forget that ;) secondly, bensaro got us all doing double takes! I usually don't ship them. did this as a favor! LOL so crazy! and last but not least-elliot. Yes we know. WTF**

**fayevdm: **No, No ,No ,No, No, don't let us cool down. I NEED to know who that man was and if he overheard anything. I NEED to know what happened with Elliot. I don't ship Nick and Liv at all. I'm E/O all the way. However, you have weaved an interesting and quite unique plot line with this one. So please bring us some new chapters for Christmas :)

**says the girl who ships livid with me on ada! hahahaha this is classic. very intriguing review might i add. So that being said, I'm just going to assume you haven't read chapter 6 yet, because you left this review on chapter five. LOL wait to you see- oh wait...oh shit, i got the alert...**

**fayevdm(again): **First of all, I worked night shift last night and didn't realize there was another chapter posted when I reviewed last chapter. Lack of sleep tends to make one unobservant, LOL.  
>Really, you made Elliot the bad guy? I LOVE Elliot. Will you guys write me a good long action adventure/ romance E/O story for Christmas, PLEASE. I need some more E/O goodness because one can never get enough.  
>Anyway, back to the subject. AWESOME plot twist!<p>

**get your sleep faye! you need your sleep! you need your stamina! i need you in good health. you're my friend! please sleep. don't worry me. i'll stop writing if you don't take better care of yourself!- elliot is...yeah you're just going to have to wait and see. he's been going through some things...a lot of things...!- we'd love to write you a good long action/ adventure/ romance E/O for Christmas! We'd be honored kiddo! So siked you asked! PM me if you have an idea or, if you just want to leave it to us. Can't wait to make some magic ;)**

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><p>It was late that same day, when Olivia returned to the house. She sighed heavily and cut the engine off. The house was completely dark. None of the lights were on. She hoped that Nick was sleeping inside. They hadn't spoken to each other since their fight earlier that morning, and Olivia really wasn't in the mood to talk to him right now. She sighed heavily and turned her phone back on.<p>

She had over forty missed calls from Nick.

She frowned at the screen, rolling her eyes in contempt, praying that it wasn't anything serious. It couldn't have been. She left her work phone on. Nick had called her personal cell. If their had been some type of emergency, he or someone else would have contacted her on a separate phone. Whatever he was so anxious to tell her had to do with them. She sighed, as she thought about what the hell it could possibly be.

She approached the door, with cool, easy indifference, but as she pulled out her keys, it occurred to her that she didn't know what to expect from Nick. She had never seen him display anything other than a calm version of temper, but she knew-probably as well as he did- that there was another side to him, a darker, less controlled side that was as unpredictable as her feelings were for him.

She'd only seen glimpses of that Nick- that's how she knew it existed- but it was only ever in the mist of their lovemaking. His want for her could be so fierce sometimes. The way he would grab, the way he would take. Nick could take on a whole other kind of nature. Olivia's hands started to shake as she thought about it, struggling to get the key into the door. She was used to seeing that side of Nick when they made love, but not out in the open. Not in the _raw_.

And while she knew that Nick wasn't capable of physically hurting her, it was clear after today that he had unspeakable potential when it came to her emotions. The dreaded truth in that reality made her sick to admit it. Even know as she twisted the door opened she denied that there was really anything between them at all.

Of course that was less than a surprise when the door was wrenched open before she was able to draw her key out. She'd barely been able to react let alone speak before Nick had grabbed her arm and yanked her inside. He slammed the door shut and pinned her, shoulders first, into the wall. He glared at her with hot, wild, male contempt.

Olivia trembled, swallowing down a wave of nausea as she processed the swift speed at which Nick had managed to overpower her. Her heart thudded painfully in her chest as his hands released he shoulders and one crept up to her face. She flinched slightly at the contact but he was gentle, moving to cup her jaw, his large thumbs brushing over her cheeks.

Her breathing became ragged when he leaned towards her, dipping his head closer to hers. Olivia closed her eyes bracing herself for the onslaught of his tongue as his mouth sated itself on hers. She was helpless to him, opening up easily, the minute she felt his erection throbbing against her stomach. Within seconds they were all over each other.

Olivia gasped, her hand clutching onto the door window as she felt her hips being released from the restraints of her belt. Hungrily Nick nipped at her upper lip, discarding his first trophy somewhere in the room before pushing her further into both window and wall. He pulled her shirt out of her jeans, ripped her zipper opened and roughly shoved the denim down off of her legs.

Olivia kicked the rest of it off of her ankles, along with her winter boots, before allowing herself to be picked up into Nick's more than capable arms. Wrapping her legs around his waist, they began the journey up, to their room, to their sexual release, and to the peak of their tension. The entire time, never once did their eyes leave one another's, and Olivia shivered. His gaze burned right through to her soul.

And not in some cliche way either.

Olivia was literally burning in the pit of her stomach. Her need for him growing with every passing moment. The world around her dissolving with every generous kiss, disappearing with every stroke of his thumb on her thigh. She completely missed the change in scenery, blanked out on the four walls that surrounded her now, but she couldn't have been more in tune with the soft cotton sheets of her bed- their bed.

In the safer, more familiar setting, Nick began to suck on her lips more intently. Slowly he pulled the blood from her mouth, forcing it to swell to the exact degree that he liked it most. Driving his knee into her legs they collapsed all to easily, naturally spreading under him. Reaching down between them, he tested her. Lightly drawing his finger over top the fabric of Olivia's lace underwear. She responded by becoming more aggressive in her own kiss and urgently locking his hips into hers so that there was no where to run.

That was his cue.

Like some rampant, raging, animal, he- in all reluctance- pulled away. Their mouths made a hard smacking sound as they detached from one another. Nick panted, as he stared down at Olivia. Legs spread. Eyes thick with lust.

"_Turn around," _he ordered. _"Get on your knees," _his deep, possessive voice, grating with angst across her skin. Something that felt like humility burned in Olivia's cheeks, and after some moments of contemplating, she did what he asked. It was unusual for her because Nick _never_ asked her to turn away from him. He always wanted to see her face.

Just not this time, she told herself quietly.

She trusted Nick. He wasn't like Elliot. He wasn't going to do what Elliot did to her. She trusted him. That's what she had spent all of today thinking about, because it hadn't been- _fair_- Olivia shivered as she felt Nick's warm lips on her back. Planting small, tiny kisses wherever he pleased. Some low. Some in the middle, some on her seductive cheeks.

Slow.

Soft.

Olivia breathed out of her mouth. Her eyes closing just before being roughly pushed down on her stomach. She winced but didn't dare move, because Nick was beginning to pull her lingerie down. The rounded curve of her bottom rising just enough for her melting center to let go of the material it had once clung to.

She buried her face into pillows and sheets when she finally felt Nick's hard body towering over top of her. He kissed her back some more- almost passionately, in an attempt to distract her from his forearm as it came around her waist, distracting her form his hand as it fell between her legs.

Olivia's body jerked violently, and she screamed out, hips rubbing straight into Nick's erection as he started to caress a vibrator across her slick folds. Jolts of pleasure ripped through her. And Nick strained to have self control. The feeling of the vibrator was so intense that it forced her backwards on to him. With difficulty he breathed as she slid against the length of him.

She was wet- wetter than he'd expected. And she _wouldn't. Stop. Moaning_.

He held the vibrator against her clit with one hand, letting the other come up and touch her breast. She cried louder, when he pinched her nipple. The combination of her cry and the scent of her hair coming in direct contact with his face ruined his control.

He needed to penetrate her. He had to. He was hard. Sticking straight out. Begging for her.

In one strong move he pulled her up on his waist, lifting her up some on his torso before he could direct her onto him. The level magnitude of Olivia's pleasure was not something she could express any longer, as he pushed the first inch inside. She wasn't able to scream. Or breathe while he stretched her.

She near doubled over from the pleasure, and lack of oxygen. He moaned involuntarily as he sunk deeper, clenching his jaw tight as she came for the first time that night around him. He was barely in and she was losing it. Breathlessly she panted under him, her face pressed again into the pillows as Nick started to move within her.

He moved slow at first, refusing to let her rest or heal, refusing to remove the vibrator from Olivia. He moved slow- and then faster, and faster, so that she ached with want. Olivia gasped at the feeling of his breath on her shoulders, warming her. She could no longer move.

Too tender to react to the vibrator, too physically spent to react to Nick, she could only lie still as he propelled into her deeper and deeper. Her hips could only spasm every now and then as the pleasure was too great to feel every second. She nearly lost it again when she heard him moan, pulling some of her hair with as much force as he rode her.

Inside, she could feel him start to quake. She readied herself as he pulled her closer, gripping onto his arms in anticipation. She moaned with him as the first burst of his seed shot within her.

Then again.

And again.

And again.

She cried out as she was pumped with a full load, with Nick's teeth painfully embedded in her shoulder as he groaned against her. He forced her hips completely still so that she remained completely enveloped by his orgasm. Olivia panted in relief as he finally took his hand away from her center. Turning the vibrator off. Her fluids dripped off the tip of his fingers, and she very carefully began to calm down from the intensity of that moment.

She was shaking, with pleasure. Her body had become so overheated that she now battled with the nausea of so much sex. Her head began to spin as she felt a very lazy push from Nick. Not just any push either. This, was a push for more. Olivia could only close her eyes again as another push came.

_"Julia..." _Nick sighed.

_No, _Olivia wanted to say. _No, no, no..._

_"Julia_..." he said again, this time twisting her on her back. The sloppiness of the act itself, causing him to fall over top of her. Olivia was taken by the moment. The feeling of his mouth capturing hers, the feeling of his strong masculine hands holding her legs spread apart so he could join in them once more.

_"Julia..." _he chanted, letting his fingers hold open her open while she still glistened with his cum.

This could not be happening. He couldn't break. Not now. She was going to tell him today, and if he slept, she would've waited until morning. Because it wasn't _fair_. It wasn't right to go on living as if nothing mattered, as if these last few months hadn't meant anything to her. They did mean something to her.

They meant everything to her.

Olivia was going to tell him that she loved him. She was going to tell him, that she wanted there to be a them. That she was wrong about what she said- _all of it._

_She let out a desperate gasp._

After this case, after hours when the work was finished, she wanted to be apart of his life.

_He slid into her for a second time. Rocking his hips as he studied the expression in her eyes. Crushing her nipples under the steel of his chest. Pushing inside until he was as deep as she could physically allow._

She wanted to be together with him for as long as they lived.

_He gasped and moaned, holding her closer, wrapping his arms around her back. Bringing Olivia to an unusual break of tears as she came for a third time that night. Her muscles contracting around him as he thrusted harder and harder. _

She wanted to see what type of father he would be to their child.

_"Jule..ivia!" _

She wanted to tell Nick, how much she truly loved him.

_"Li-god, oh god!" He jerked violently, sighing without warrant as he came again. White cream layering thick into her. _

Not just as some, partner or colleague. Not just as friends. But as lovers.

_He shivered, the sweat rolling from his abs as he stumbled down on the bed beside her._

Husband and wife.

_Olivia waited, and waited for him to look at her. For him to say her name. _

And very soon as a father.

_But he never did. _

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry guys, but Stabler's turn is next!<strong>

**by the way- nickandliv- imma kick your ass for daddy. just wait. just wait. when #$%#$% happens to Liv. I want everyone to thank nickandliv. Just hug her. Y'all got 24 hours to convince me not to execute to the unmentionable. just try. i dare you. **


	8. Just Like You

**nickandliv: **OMG, laughing so hard right now! Gotta go through the bad so the good will be more appreciated when it comes. Daddy won't be crazy forever...well he will but the story won't; Don't. Give. Up.

So about this chapter, Liv on sone destiny's Child shit and I agree - Say her name, say her name! Bensaro sex is good for everyone...except maybe Liv's poor vagina cuz DAMN! Nick is tearin shit up. Nick be like Liv's vagina is a 5K race and he gotta break the damn finish line tape first! He actin like her vagina is the Olympics and he NEED that gold medal! Nick be like his dick is PacMan and he vagina is the dots...nom, mom, nom. Boy beatin it like a damn drum, beatin it up like it owe him money, beatin it like it stole somethin, beatin it like it dissed his momma! Let's just call the dick Pacquiao, ok? But yes, this is all good for my dirty mind. Bless!

As for Elliot, (all I didn't say last chapter) I see no way to justify you playing Benson porn at a damn party; fuck you sniffin? Three words bruh: Find. Yo. Chill.

Jesus didn't die for this shit! *sips tea*

**I can't even respond to this shit. like seriously, there is something fucking wrong with you. i can't. i really wish i tackled you at paley because the level of awesomeness is too high. you are fucking life. fucking life. i don't even know how to address this anymore. like Liv's vagina? Pacman? Pacquiao? does this level even exist? honestly, we sniffing some shit cause this is made. I CAN'T! Liv's poor vagina! I CAN'T! I am still laughing like days later. I framed this on my wall. It has a frame from Marshalls like I got that shit while it was competing with ROSS. i can't there just are no words. hands down the best review of my life. no other is like this one. i'm taking this to the grave. they are burying me with this. i put this in my will. Jesus died for this shit! he wants to read this shit**

**REVIEWS **

**teleficsmovies211: **Hot hot and hot. These hormones from our baby got me hot and bothered. Lol

**our baby *chills* ermergerrrd! don't melt!**

**aschardein: **Oh my God! You are truly awesome! This story is fu**ing amazing! You have an unique talent to bring your audience to their knees. I bow down to you. Please don't make me wait too long for the next installment.

**so of course i made you wait! ;) glad you're enjoying the story. you mah friend are truly fucking amazing!**

**kezireh24: **I'm just gonna let you know, I don't even ship Bensaro, at all, but your writing is so fantastic. I just had to read! I can't wait to read more!

**laugh out loud! i don't ship bensaro either! but I'm totally thrilled you're into the writing style. i bet i could turn anyone into a shipper. **

**fayevdm: **Wow, if she wasn't pregnant before she should be now.

**oh but i can make so many things happen! **

**mhbaby: **Oh shit! THIS STORY IS AMAZEBALLS! I seriously want to kick Elliot's ass. How could he...after 12 years...What the hell is going on?

**amazeballs?...i think i have met my soulmate. seriously. i thought i was the only one who said that. you rock my world mhbaby- you better prepare yourself. You just made a cameo. Seriously. You're kicking elliot's ass. THAT'S AMAZEBALLS- and yes, what the hell is going on?**

**martybaby13:** Im sorry I just read all the chapters at once. This story is fucking awesome sauce!

**all at once?! you poor soul. please hold while i transfer you to our reader saving hotline. (you're fucking awesome sauce ;) hope you like what happens next**

**guest: **Bravo...great writing! Way to go on putting the emotion into it...I can practically feel their inner turmoil when I'm reading. Oh and by the way, if that's angry Nick, I would fight with him every day! Jejeje

**hey guest! thanks for the writing! can't take full credit! we're crossing over so...but we're glad you like it. If you think Nick was angry in that last chapter...**

**OK SO THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ELLIOT'S CHAPTER, BUT I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THAT CHAPTER, AND I GOT SO PISSED OFF THAT I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE WRITING IT OVER, SO YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WITH HIM. BUT FOR NOW...BACK WHERE WE LEFT OFF HE HE HE he. **

* * *

><p>Olivia's hair clung to her skin as she panted, face down into the sheets. She was no longer able to physically respond to the feeling of Nick inside her. He had mellowed into some weird, lazy form of penetration that had the power to keep her up and surprisingly relaxed as they had been active now, well into the early morning. Olivia was buzzing with all the heat and sexual release. So much so that she had completely stopped thinking. Her body hung in the barriers of a lucid conscience. She was on autopilot, unable to stop nor go on as Nick rocked in and pulled out.<p>

Olivia gave up guessing when he would be finished. Already, her body had clenched tight enough to push him out twice, and twice Nick had rammed back in literally forcing her to take him, and keep what he had to offer. He had her pumped with so much cum that she could feel it sliding between them acting as their last lubricant. She could hear it smacking between her legs and she instantly cringed remembering how Nick had gotten the idea to spank her at one point. He smacked her bottom raw until he felt that it was enough, until her cheeks were swollen red and threatening to turn blue. Worst of all was how he proceeded to apologize to her. It was the most erotic eat out session she had ever experienced in her life.

Nick's tongue was completely unafraid as he licked and sucked, literally drawing out the very content he had so carefully stored and deposited into Olivia's body. It was magnanimous. The way he kept her going. The way he kept her turned on. That night she had experienced a full take over. Control was no longer in her cards. Sexually, she belonged to Nick. Permanently.

She heard him breathing harder behind her. Still she did nothing. She simply went along for the ride, let him lift her up on his lap. Let him squeeze her breasts and kiss the line of her jaw. Let him nip before full on biting the spot between her shoulder and her neck. She let him come one last time, and then her body simply couldn't hold anything else anymore. She grimaced as she felt Nick swell within her. It had gotten to the point were the idea of pleasure had become straight up painful.

Olivia fidgeted in Nick's arms to get away it hurt so much. But he was insistent. He would not let her go. Not until she was injected with every last drop. The minute she felt Nick soften, she lept out of his arms, wincing as she felt him leave her. The physical detachment was so harsh that Olivia almost wished she hadn't been so quick to leave him. Her chest pivoted in high heavy breaths, as she tried to brace herself for the blood to return to her body. Her skin tingled as the nerves started to heal. Her bite mark throbbed painfully as the trauma became more severe.

She stared at Nick who was completely spent. The look on his face was both one of exhaustion and terrible loss, grief, hurt...maybe anger- or was it confusion? After a few collective moments he finally met her eyes, and with one look, they both knew what they had just done.

Somewhere in the cosmos of that sex arena, a baby had begun to grow.

Their baby.

Olivia shuddered with that reality. Of course, scientifically there was no way to be sure, but logically it was all too true. If Olivia didn't turn up pregnant after that stunt, then there was something medically wrong with her. That would be the only explanation, the only counter attack, and even to her that seemed unlikely.

Not because it wasn't possible, but because it was _impossible_. She'd already been tested and examined before she was officially signed the case. They would never have thrown her into the middle of something so dangerous without making sure that she was first fully equipped with the necessities to survive.

The calculations slowly added up in her head...

Olivia's heart thudded violently with in her chest. It's beat was so strong that she could hear it, humming in her ears. The beat was so strong that if it had dared to go any higher it would have exploded.

They were going to be parents.

Something shy of sadness had crept to overwhelm Olivia, but her impeding exhaustion was much stronger. She fought to keep her eyes open but she could hardly do that. The last thing she saw was Nick leaning into her before she could feel his head resting on her torso.

His cheek felt so warm against her skin. She loved it there. She felt so connected with him, so happy. Her fingers cradled the short curls of his hair as she held him there. She allowed herself to enjoy it. She could beat herself up about being so vulnerable later. But for now it was time to rest. The last thing she felt before drifting to sleep was the cum overflowing from her legs and then Nick, very softly cleaning it up.

* * *

><p>"You're up," he observed, his tone dark, dangerously ominous. "That's good."<p>

Olivia peeled her head from one of their pillows and instantly regretted it. On all four sides she felt like she'd just been hit by a train. The soreness was unlike anything she'd ever experienced. It was like the morning after working out for the first time in months, only two hundred times worse. Her muscles ached and stretched all over.

She had a headache. She felt nauseous. She was starving. She had to pee, but shifting her thighs seemed to do insurmountable pain. Her bottom burned from the way Nick man handled her, and her insides felt so tender and bruised that the slightest movement caused her to wince. Before tonight she didn't think it were possible to experience that level of discomfort so many places at once.

She tried a second time to move but it only made her feelings worse.

"I have to pee."

Nick didn't respond. He only glared at her with the same tone of his voice and this frustrated Olivia.

"Nick, I'm serious. I don't think I can hold it."

Already Olivia could feel something threatening to slide down her legs, and it wasn't something Nick had put there. He frowned intensely, only to rise on his feet and scoop her up in his arms. Olivia looked up at his face but he was content with the lay out of the master bathroom for his view. "_Hurry," _she warned, slightly clutching on the collar of his sweater- Why was he dressed? He was wearing jeans too, Olivia noticed as it chaffed her thigh.

She couldn't even begin to imagine that logic, especially not when the cool surface of the toile against her legs brought so much relief. Nick was able to make it just in time before Olivia did something very embarrassing. On the toilet Olivia lingered somewhere between the hurt and the manageable discomfort of all her sensations. It hurt to pee. She was freezing, as she sat naked in the bathroom, but her body was all heat. No matter which way she leaned her bottom was too sore to sit on, and all she thought about was the bed- and something to eat.

She was starving.

She reached for the toilet tissue but Nick had stopped her before she could use it. He was thoughtfully prepared with a cold wash cloth and Olivia was able to flush without having to worry about the rest. The cloth felt good between her legs. It made the tenderness numb, and effectively sanitized her until she was appropriately fitted for bed. When they were finished Nick plucked the cloth in the hamper and returned Olivia back to the comfort of their sheets.

Olivia tried not to be so disappointed by his decision to return to his seat from whence she found him earlier after waking. She was still exhausted. It was the middle of the night. He should've been in bed too. He should have been with her, holding her, holding the space where their baby was going to grow, but instead he chose to put distance between them, and that was everything Olivia hated.

"I think it's time we talked," Nick announced. His tone hadn't grown any warmer, and that made Olivia feel even more uncomfortable.

"Ok."

"Let's start with yesterday. Why didn't you answer any of my calls?"

"I was out," Olivia retorted.

"Where? With who?" His words were possessive, and delivered with every twinge of jealousy he could muster.

"Myself," Olivia sighed. Her thumb brushed over her abdomen. She probably wasn't going to be by herself for a long time.

"Where did you go?" Nick repeated.

"Just out. I drove mostly. I needed some time to think."

_To think?_ Nick tried to accept that as an appropriate answer. He knew she was telling the truth, Olivia wasn't capable of lying to him, she just had a funny way of walking around what she really meant. She could tell the truth but she wasn't very keen on being honest with him. He knew she'd never reveal _what_ she was thinking about, and that only frustrated him further. A relationship with her was the only thing he wanted, and it seemed like it was the last thing he was going to get.

Everywhere he turned, she hit him hard with a dead end. That's why he went through such great lengths to make _sure _she was pregnant. Sex. Ten hours straight. The hottest, most intense sex either of them had ever had or would ever have. Nick was confident they'd succeeded this time. He didn't even want to think about what their lives would be like after the case. He was still debating on whether or not he would fight for some parental rights over the child, but that would cost time, money, and energy, and yet somehow, the possibility that their child might very well come into existence made all those reasons seem worth it.

If Nick couldn't have Olivia, he would always have a right to their child. The baby would be as much his as it was hers. She couldn't keep that away from him. She couldn't.

Anger was like an explosion in his mind, blasting away reason, totally destroying his ability to think straight. To think at all!

"Olivia," he growled. "_Enough_."

Fearing even the word itself, Olivia pulled her eyes from the corner they had infatuated themselves with and met Nick straight on. Even in the darkness Olivia could see the glittering heat in them. The anger he radiated felt like an extra layer over her skin and just that feeling alone had her yearning for his touch, even when every fiber of her being was trying to get as far away from him as possible.

"I don't know what you want me to say..." she answered quietly. "I was upset about our conversation in the kitchen the other night, and I just didn't want to deal with it anymore. I didn't think it was fair."

"You didn't think _what_ was fair?"

"Us. The idea of us- Matt and Julia."

"It's not supposed to be fair. It'a our job."

"I know that," Olivia choked. Fearlessness, badassness, and some good old confidence had got her this far, but all that totally deserted her now. "It'll all be over soon..." she tried again.

Even with all of his clothes on, the memory of how it felt to be in bed with Nick, to be held close to the hard bone and heated skin of his powerful body almost destroyed her, leaving her despairing of ever getting the old Nick back.

"I suppose you can't wait for that to happen," Nick added harshly.

The air in Olivia's chest hitched. "Oh please. Like you want to stay here any more than I do."

"_Don't ever think for me,_" he echoed dangerously. _"Ever." _Olivia melted under the heat of his words. She felt them in places she shouldn't have. He hit her with raw intensity, and his demeanor stung like a fresh slap on the face. "You don't know what I want."

"I know that it must've been pretty hard to leave for you to preform like that," Olivia shot back.

"No, Olivia. I'm not like Elliot. I don't have a wife or kids to compare you to. So let's not go there." Olivia glared at him, partially annoyed, and partially relieved to hear him say that. She knew that her chances with Nick weren't great, but they sure as hell got better. But then...there were so many ways things could pan out. He could be infatuated with her body, they could stay together, live together, up until her pregnancy became to real to deal with. OR, the baby could be his only reason to stay. Everything he could do or say from here on out, might just be done and said for the sake of having a relationship with their son or daughter. After all, it would be a chance at family for both of them...

"Ok then. What is it you want Nick? I am officially closed as a baby making service until further notice. I don't think I'll be wanting to have sex until next year."

Stony-faced, Nick ignored her outburst, persisting instead with his cross-questioning.

"So you don't want to be with me?"

This time her nerve failed her completely and unable to meet the blazing accusation in his eyes, she lowered her gaze to stare at the floor.

"_It's not real_."

"What?"

She didn't know if he truly hadn't heard her or if he was simply determined to make her repeat it. To confirm the lack of sense in her statement.

"You're unbelievable." The way he rapped it out, the ice in his voice, was positively the last straw. Olivia's dark head came up, tossing the length of her hair back over her shoulders as she did so. The part of her brain that needed so much to tell him the way she felt about him was at war with the other, more cautious half. The half warned her that the last thing Nick wanted was any precipitate declaration of love. Particularly not right now, when the expression on his face declared that she was the last person on ear that he wanted to have any claim at all on his emotions.

"You're just...all business aren't you?" Nick's hand clenched under his arms, clutch his frame for dear life. The way he felt about her was crippling sometimes, and she could've cared less. The flare of fury in his eyes made her wonder if in fact he would also like to clutch her as ungenerously around the neck, or if he still had the energy, give her the roughest fuck of her life.

He wondered.

Olivia stared at him for a long time. For the sake of argument, of course she was all business. It wasn't like Nick had any real feelings for her. It wasn't like he was going to marry her or be with her when this was all over. I mean, she hoped that he would, but she expected him not to. She didn't understand why he was so determined to coax out the feelings she had reserved for another time. This job wasn't real, and yet he consistently treated it as if it was. In the beginning, Olivia had no trouble with it, but back then she didn't bank on falling for it either.

"Well...we can't help that some people to the job better than others."

_Bitch, _his anger told him, the haze of fury blinding him so that he could no longer see her lovely face, those expressive brown eyes. Her lovely lying face. Her expressive lying brown eyes. She was never going to feel anything for him. He wasn't anymore to her than the next. She intended to keep him waiting, wanting, and wondering, growing more insane and sick with frustration every damn day.

Fury was like a red seething haze in his mind, making it impossible to see, impossible to think. Suddenly the confined space of the chair was too small to hold him. Too small to be in while Olivia was in bed at the same time. He had to get out of here before he did something very very stupid. Very stupid and possibly dangerous too.

"Nick..."

He barely heard Olivia's voice through the buzzing inside his head. He couldn't even look at her, or pause to wait and learn what she had to say. He had to keep a hold on the temper that was boiling up inside him, threatening to spill over like lava out of a volcano, and pour down, destroying everything around him.

"Nick- where are you going?"

Damn it, she was following him! Leaning there at her side of the bed, because it hurt to fully stand, looking at him as if he had gone mad. Well, perhaps she was right. Mad was just how he felt. Crazy. Wild. Totally out of control.

And all the time he had to keep his mouth clamped tight shut. If he opened it, let out a single word then he would never stop. He would vent his fury on her in all the harsh, stinging words he could think of. And he didn't trust himself not to destroy her completely in his rage.

So instead he forced himself to concentrate on whipping back the sheets, every movement brusque to the point of violence. He wouldn't look her in the face for fear that the memory of her so vulnerable beneath him, blasted apart his concentration. He fluffed her pillows, he wiped her sheets. And then deposited her back in bed.

"Nick..."

His breath hissed viciously through his clenched teeth as his fingers met the feeling of her skin again. Couldn't she see what she was doing?

"You need to rest," he snapped with brutal succinctness, hoping that was it. But of course it wasn't.

"I can sleep later. Talk to me."

"No. I'm done talking to you. I don't want to be anywhere near you right now. You just better hope your pregnant, because if Schrader finds out your not, we're all going to be in for one hell of a surprise."

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><p><strong>Nick is hot...Nick is scheming...Nick is about to explode...Possibly go violent...Possibly out of control...and while Liv is pregnant!- is she pregnant? <strong>


	9. Clue One

**nickandliv: **Their usually hot-and-steamy sex came off... Nick raped her! She was tired and in pain, trying to get away and he repeatedly forced her to take him. Then he goes all crazy with the inquisition the next morning... Is everybody on what Elliot is on? I'm not okay!

**it's...it's ok. it was consensual. don't worry. **

**REVIEWS**

**mhbaby: **DAMNNN this is making me pregnant the way Nick is describing Olivia. I swear I might turn gay just fir her sometimes! They were supposed to be together in this chapter after that AMAZING sex scene. *inserts broken heart* I trust your judgement with this story so BENSARO is still happening right? Nick is angry...oooooo IT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN BITCHES!

**oh no! not you two! somebody call welfare. someone get in touch with child services. we're getting ready to get sued with all this child support. LOL JK. Don't worry mhbaby! heart healing is coming soon.**

**martybaby313: **Why do you do this to me? I mean I'm a good person that just wants Olivia and Nick to make babies and have peace.

**you poor unfortunate soul. i feel so bad right now. it's ok. the wants you seek will come to you soon. i promise.**

**guest: **it seems like their sex was less than consensual...not sure how I should feel

**it was consensual. very consensual. you should feel exhausted. you might want to take a cold shower.**

**guest: **I held off on commenting because I was so sickened and disturbed by this chapter but I can't be the only one. This is rape. You graphically described him REPEATEDLY forcing her to continue with intercourse in spite of the fact that she was in pain, her body was rejecting him and she tried to get away.

"Already, her body had clenched tight enough to push him out twice, and twice Nick had rammed back in literally forcing her to take him, and keep what he had to offer."

And this is only one example, let's not even get into him "spanking her raw" - another thing she did not want. I found this cruel, it may have started off as consensual but it ended as a violent, merciless rape and it shouldn't be made light of.

**um...um...um. it was consensual. let's not call it rape. it was consensual. rough sex, maybe after six orgasms yeah, but not rape. the spanking was just kinky. violent? merciless? nick amaro? olivia benson? no way. if you think that was rape...boy...noi yreu frud oew kning. i think the sex was just too good to physically contain. but i guess everyone reads it differently...you'll change your mind next chapter. you'll get it later.**

**roganjalex: **Their love is overflowing true admission will come soon I hope

**this makes me laugh ;) EPIC**

**roganjalex: **Omg nick tell her that you love

**not yet! **

**guest:** The way my vagina hurts right now... OUCH!

**mine too!**

**guest: **update pretty please...I am dying here...anxiety!

**oh my ****god! don't die! resuscitate! stay alive! don't die! **

**LOL! OK, between my guest reviews and nickandliv, I really don't know if y'all can handle another O/N scene right now. eat this E scene, because you've just prolonged the epic unspeakable, conclusion to the bensaro drama saga. **

* * *

><p>The breeze was warm against Elliot's cheek as he approached Schrader on his golf course. The sweat sweltered off his neck with every heavy step, and the anxiety of what he was doing had never been so real until now. He shivered, flinching at the chucking sound of metal against wood, taking a mouthful of grass with it.<p>

He had made the mistake of not sleeping the night before, so his demeanor was edgy and inconclusive. Part of him was still pissed that Schrader had showed Olivia and Nick 's sex to over three dozen men, but he was satisfied that it had been her up there instead of Kathleen as Schrader had originally planned.

That's right.

Kathleen was supposed to be in Olivia's place, but Elliot would never have lived with himself if he knew that he put his daughter through a situation like this. She was still so young, and she had her whole life a head of her. Never mind that Schrader had to be one of the biggest dog's Elliot had ever had the pleasure of crossing, there was no way he'd let Kathleen be in the same state as Schrader let alone in the same community under illegal observation.

Elliot would never allow it.

He had to offer up the next best thing, and who was more perfect for the job than Olivia? She had the body, the age, the looks- the want to conceive a child...he would know, after all they had tried to make one together. And it was the suspicion that she was pregnant, that had gotten Elliot into this mess.

That day in the precinct when Jenna Fox walked into the room, shot and killed two people, all Elliot could think of was Olivia and their supposed baby. Not the fact that Jenna was related to a psychopath who would go too the most disturbing lengths just to avenge her and her mother. The thought never crossed Elliot's mind when he pulled that trigger, because all he thought about in those moments were Olivia, and the plans they had to take a test that night.

Forget that he felt like he already knew the answer, he had to protect them no matter what.

But now Elliot wished he hadn't been so sure, because then Olivia wouldn't be sleeping with someone else, she wouldn't believe that he had abandoned her, she would be home with him, in his arms...

"The morning hour doesn't suit you, does it?" Schrader said, his usual tight smile staring back at Elliot.

"I overslept." Elliot mumbled.

Schrader's expression did not change but Elliot could tell he didn't fancy the excuse. He starting walking towards a tent, where they could sit.

"Sit. Eat. There's plenty of food. Whatever you want." Schrader explained as he took off his hat. Elliot complied, but he did not eat. His head was too full to think about food. After an epitome of silence, Schrader turned to look at Elliot. "Just how well does Olivia know this man?"

Elliot frowned, but then assumed he was talking about Nick. "Not well. They met after I put my papers in."

"So it's been exactly six months?"

"I guess." Elliot answered.

"That interests me." Schrader waited for Elliot to ask why, but he never did. "Do you know why?"

"No."

"Because for ten hours, like cats in the jungle, your Olivia and this Nicholas made love. Ten hours. They've become eager Elliot. No doubt she's pregnant now. I've already arranged for them to visit me at the office for a blood test."

The color vanished from Elliot's face.

He was churning with anger, jealousy, and frustration. He knew Schrader had a plan, but he wouldn't tell him what it was. He couldn't prevent anything from happening, he was just a pair of hands in all of this, and it angered the hell out of him.

Not to mention Olivia's sex marathon.

Elliot didn't even know where to begin with his confusion. And just what was Schrader implying about Nick and Olivia being eager? Olivia didn't love Nick. But then again, she didn't or wouldn't love him either, if they ever saw each other again, which hurt Elliot even more because he'd always wanted to see her as a mother.

"So. What do you suggest we do about this case? We will need them to stay undercover for an additional nine months until the baby is born. I will not preform a cesarean. I want the child to be fully developed and delivered at natural birth. No exceptions."

Elliot swallowed the bile in his throat. He gave a shivering sigh before answering, "You're going to need a body. Something to keep the trail going, and the feds interested. But nothing can lead to you..."

"No. It should be lead to _you_."

* * *

><p><strong>You mean to tell me, this case they got Olivia and Nick on isn't real?! <strong>

**Speaking of...I should probably go check on them.**


	10. Like Home

**REVIEWS**

**roganjalex: **I am slightly confused I seriously thought the case was real. I hope When Nick finds Elliot he comes close to not surviving the damage since olivia has truly found love with nick Eliot be dammed

**OH NO. YOU SEE, SCHRADER IS JENNA FOX'S VENGEFUL GRANDFATHER. HE ONLY WANTS TO REPLACE THE FAMILY HE LOST (FOR REASONS I CAN'T SAY RIGHT NOW ;). AND TRUST ME. ELLIOT WILL GET HIS ASS KIIIIIICCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKEEEEEEDDDDDDD**

**lucinaheartsvu:** Tftftftftf I am speechless. And whatt? You are trying to kill me ! Love it!

**I DON'T WANT TO KILL YOU, BUT IF I DO, I WILL BRING THE FAMILY TO YOUR FUNERAL. ALL ONE, TWO, THREE, FOU- THREE OF THEM. I MEAN THREE OF THEM**

**sunshyne2014:** OMG! What the hamsammich are you doing to me here?! I can't take it. I don't know whether to go run a mile or take a nap or what right now! This is almost as stressful as waiting for tonight's new episode has been and I'm scared my head may explode before all is said and done! LOL All I know is something's got to give...

On another note... 10 HOURS? DAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNGGGGG! I'm with mhbaby - if Liv's not pregnant after all that, I'm pretty sure I am! LOL

**HAMSAMMICH...I LIKE THIS WORD. HAMSAMMICH. I LIKE IT. I LIKE IT. I LIKE IT. - RUN YOUR MILE, TAKE YOUR NAP, STRESSFUL STRESSING IS COMING UP! HOPEFULLY YOUR HEAD WON'T EXPLODE- I've officially lost track of my fan fiction babies LOL! I have so many! **

**fayevdm:** Please don't do anything else mean to Elliot. It makes me so sad. He has to be a good guy in the end. This somehow ending in E/O would be great ya know. Just sayin ;)

**OH FAYE, YOU REACH SO HIGH...THE TRUE TEST, WILL BE SEEING YOUR REACTION TO ELLIOT'S FATE ;)**

**addicted. writer: **Asshole! And I always knew he was! Good Lord Almighty what a stupid stupid thing to do.

**HONESTLY, I LOVE THIS REVIEW. ASSHOLE IS JUST THE PERFECT WORD TO START OFF ON. I LOVE IT, AND I LOVE YOU. **

**mhbaby: **Omg I hate Elliot! This is killing me! I need Bensaro sex again! Only I need the slow love making sex and that wild frenzy crazy sex! Slow and passionate. Say it with me...slow and passionate sex.

**SSSSSSSSLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW AAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDD PPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXX.**

**ty: **Next chapter, next chapter:)

**NEXT CHAPTER, NEXT CHAPTER ;)**

* * *

><p>As a cop- and a reliable one at that- Nick had away of seeing things coming. Especially when they posed threat or physical harm to himself or others. But Nick had not seen Olivia's rash indifference, or been able to predetermine her calculated strike against his face.<p>

He flinched at the horrible _crack _sound that echoed in and around the room from Olivia's delicate hand. He could hear her labored breathing as she, no doubt, began to soak in her own anger and frustration. Nick let her go just as the welt of her hand began to swell on his cheek, but did not move to free her of his presence. And he was still, very much in Olivia's presence.

He hadn't understood why she had gone and done a thing like that. It wasn't as if she had some wide range emotions caged inside regarding she and Nick's relationship. Olivia was all business. She was nothing like him. Unlike Nick, she had managed to keep her emotions well out of reach. What Olivia felt for him, didn't live outside of the precinct. Nick was just a means to a much needed end.

An end for death, an end for sexual assault to countless women, and an end to unconscious coupling back at the unit. Nick imagined Don would be thrilled that Olivia had finally found someone to work with. Someone she could trust. But the hard, angry features that dealt with him now, told Nick that Olivia hadn't trusted him. And that set Nick on a whole new pedestal of ruin.

"You can rough handle me, 'cause chances are, I've experienced worse. You can throw loose threats about not wanting to be with me, because chances are, I've heard worse. You can mess with my head, and do things to make me _beg_," Olivia said in an icy cold tone of controlled indifference. "But never think for once second, that I can't do the same to you baby. Because I will. And I will do far more damage then you ever could."

"I'm not trying to hurt you, Olivia."

At that, Olivia re established her place in Nick's arms. Wrapping her long legs around him, so that his manhood rested firmly between the moist lips of her core. Her body still released the aftermath of their wild sex, and sought to provoke more, even though Olivia couldn't- wouldn't allow for Nick to take her again. Not ever again, until she was sure that he would never hurt her. Then and only then, would she even begin to think about sleeping with Nick again. But her arms folded around Nick's neck no less and her hips pressed forward no slighter. She felt Nick tense, as he battled a hard physical restraint to keep from fully responding to Olivia's strategic movements. This was obviously about control.

"But you forget Nick..." she said as she ran a long, tempered finger against his jaw. "You already did."

And then there was silence. A rash twisted glare, storming in Nick's eyes for the first time since they'd been assigned this case. Olivia thought it was a spell of confusion, but having the chance to see it so close, she now deemed other wise. Nick was not confused about this situation. He knew very well what she was referring to, but that had not changed his feelings any more than Olivia's strange behavior did now.

"I was doing my job, Olivia. Nothing more."

"Face down, legs spread, is that how you do your _job?" _

"Isn't that how you do yours?" Nick gritted through clenched teeth. His anger burning all the way down to his cramped knuckles as they tightly wrapped around Olivia's wrist. He flung her hand away from her face and didn't dare to even think about how callous he had been in that decision. He no longer cared what Olivia thought. No matter how many words were passed, she was never going to say the words he ached to hear.

Without even realizing it, he had untangled her from his chest, and lifted softly from their bed. Planning silently, to move into the spare room down the hall.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He heard her ask.

"What do you think, Liv?" Nick shouted back as he pulled a thermal over his head. "I know your game. I know this is all just a job to you, and that you have no emotional connection to this case whatsoever. You don't want me, you don't want this baby and you don't want someone to replace your old partner. You want an out. Something away from here and all this-_mess!" _Nick fumed. "I did my part. And I'm sorry if I hurt you in the process, but believe me, you have hurt me these past few weeks, more than I would ever give you credit for...Shutting me out. Letting me in. For what? So you could take home the gold metal and frame it on the desk that isn't half as good as it used to be?"

Olivia imagined herself crying over his words, but she hadn't had the glossy enterprise to withdraw from. All that was left of her and her emotions was her steady, beating heart, and it was not a reliable source to draw from. "I don't know what you want from me..." Olivia said softly, her own guilt slowly eating away at her.

And Nick knew that. He knew it would be hard for Olivia to accept what he felt for her, and even more what she felt for him. Olivia was a wounded woman. Her expectations for the next relationship meant that Nick had to really fight for what he knew was good for him. It had been his last card. If Olivia denied him now, he didn't think he would survive the rest. He'd walk right up to Schrader and let him rip his body limb to limb. Any pain, any end would have hurt less than this. "I think you do. I think you know exactly what I want from you."

"It's not right," Olivia spoke like a hollow ghost. Hey eyes turned a horrid red, and stung with a horrid purpose, but still not a single tear was shed.

"It's right to me. For us. Please...just say it. I want to hear the words. Say them, and I'll never leave your side. We'll raise this baby together." Nick kissed her. "And we'll have more." Nick kissed her. "I want to be with you...I love you, and I can't lie about it anymore, Olivia. Please tell me now," he said louder, his voice shaking with fear. "Tell me."

"I...

* * *

><p><strong>Aaaa the confession<strong>


	11. Secrets

**REVIEWS**

**teleficsmovies211: **You know what?! If it wasn't 1 am I would have screamed and thrown my phone but that stress would b bad for the baby. U gotta remember our baby when u do things like leave me on a cliff. Omg this was so good but seriously u know a pregnant woman's balance is off from time to time. U did this to me and then you stress me out. Uuugghh ut lucky I love you

**DON'T SCREAM! TAKE DEEP BREATHS! THINK ABOUT THE BABY! YOU CAN'T STRESS OUT, IT'S NOT GOOD. (HAHAHA, I LOVE YOU TOO!)**

**martybaby313: **You are one sick person for leaving it like this. Ugh like I can't even deal right now

**ON A LEVEL OF LIKE…CAN'T DEAL. HOW MUCH CAN YOU NOT DEAL? (LOL)**

**lucinaheartssvu: **Hold the fucking front door! Tftf! I have faith that bensaro will be together! But your cliffhangers are literally giving small heart attacks! Lol

**HOLDING THE FUCKING FRONT DOOR! THIS DRAFT! THIS CHILL! BRRRRR- FAITH? BENSARO? BUT I HAVE YET TO TRY AND SPLIT THEM A PART. CLIFFHANGERS? HEART ATTACKS? YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING YET.**

**addicted. writer:** When is she gonna stop being stupid? I adore Liv but some of the decisions she make are very questionable. Lol! Oh, and i love you!

**SHE'S JUST SCARED :( ELLIOT BROKE HER HEART :( IT'S SO SAD :( I FEEL SADNESS FOR HER :( - I LOVE YOU TOO! **

**loisandclarksuperfan: **Dang! I don't even know what to say about this. I was up in the middle of the night, not able to sleep, and checking out some stories I'd not read and found this. Aaaaaahhhhhhhh! I am hooked! I need more...like immediately!

Very unique storyline and I can't wait to see what happens next.

**AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, SO YOU HAVE FOUND THE TREASURE, THE GOOD STUFF, THE NUTELLA FOR THE BRAIN, THE MARISKA HARGITAY HARGITAYNESS- WELCOME TO OUR FUN HOUSE! GLAD YOU LIKE THE STORY LINE ;)**

**roganjalex: **Thank you nick you are going to make olivia admit the truth she is going to love you forever

**OOOH. YOU'RE A DREAMER AREN'T YOU? ;)**

**sunshyne2014: ** AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Are you serious right now? You're just gonna end it right there like that? Do you want to see me dead, is that what you want? Because I don't think I can survive any more misunderstanding between Nick and Liv. Like I'mma need her next sentence to be "I love you too" or I can't be held responsible for my actions! You are going to cause me to get a prescription for valium before this story is over because my nerves can't take it! :P

**DON'T DIE! YOU CAN'T DIE! EVERYONE'S DYING. I NEED SOMEONE TO STAY ALIVE. YOU MUST SURVIVE. BE A SURVIVOR. IF YOU NEED HELP, ASK BEYONCE….ON SECOND THOUGHT. THE VALIUM MAY NOT BE SUCH A BAD IDEA. #HAMMSAMMICH**

**joyfulriri: **omg! this is a hell of a cruel cliffhanger! I can't believe you just left us haging! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Olivia SAY IT DAMN IT!*takes deep breaths*. Update soon, soon like now!

Ugh!You got us through hell but I still love you(how is that even possible?)!

**IT TWAS JESUS, MY FRIEND. IT WAS JESUS. (I LOVE YOU TOO)**

**katechoco:**Aaah the confession :p

Did I mention that this story is hotter than a chilly pepper? :D

**YES YOU DID ;) IT GETS HOTTER.**

**mhbaby: **What the hell? She wasn't FINISHED! I wanted to hear it! You can't do this. I loved you and that means we have to tell everything to each other. That means if I don't get the answer in the next chapter...you will be getting divorce papers from me MRANDMRSSTABLER! [Update soon please! :)]

**EEEK! (IF IT'S ANY RECONCILIATION, I LOVE YOU TOO. LET'S NOT GET A DIVORCE)**

**fayevdm: **My reaction to Elliot's fate? I'm not sure I like what you are alluding to. You're scaring me. Poor Elliot. Sniff. I love him.

**WHAT? STILL!? OH MAN. OH MAN, OH MAN. IN THAT CASE, BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID. **

* * *

><p><em>"It's right to me. For us. Please...just say it. I want to hear the words. Say them, and I'll never leave your side. We'll raise this baby together." Nick kissed her. "And we'll have more." Nick kissed her. "I want to be with you...I love you, and I can't lie about it anymore, Olivia. Please tell me now," he said louder, his voice shaking with fear. "Tell me."<em>

"I…" Olivia gave a shaky breath and drew the covers around her, not realizing that she had sent a weight the size of a boulder down Nick's throat. He stared at her with frantic desperation as she began to retreat further and further into herself.

"Liv?" She didn't respond or he didn't give her enough time to, with his hand urgent on the side of her face, and his body leaning into her arms. "Liv, listen to me. I know how you feel about Elliot." She tilted her head out of reach, but Nick was relentless. "I know what he did to you. You don't have to be afraid. I won't make the same mistakes that he did. I'm not going to leave you."

"Yes, you will." Olivia choked.

"No, Liv. No I won't. I'm not like him. I'm not like the rest. We're different. We're a family. Did you have this with Elliot?" Nick put his hand on her stomach and Olivia shied away, before moving his hand.

"Stop," she whispered, a dark, wounded tone passing through her voice.

"I can't..." Nick admitted softly. "I can't anymore. Before yesterday, I thought...I thought that I could live with this. That we could just do the job, and call it a night. But I can't. Not anymore. Olivia, when you left yesterday, I lost it. The first few hours, I thought you were just angry. You needed space. I gave it to you. I thought you'd be home before dinner. But then you were out longer than that. And I started thinking...about Schrader...about you. I thought terrible things, Liv. I was so scared that I lost you- and worse, that I waited around for it to happen. And that was when you came through the door. You were home. And I was...It was clear to me, that I didn't want to live without you." He had lost her eyes, long before that speech.

"Olivia," he pressed.

She did not respond. Not for a very long time. They sat in darkness, opposite one another in silence for so long, that Nick could begin to feel the pieces of hurt inside of him, slowly peel away. He was losing her. Losing his love. Or maybe it wasn't love at all if she didn't feel the same. _If she didn't feel the same_. The thought was like acid against Nick's throat. The pain in his chest was so heavy that it hurt to breathe. How could he describe it? How could he even begin to find the words for what she was doing to him?

And losing Olivia, didn't just stop there. It meant that he would lose their child too. The stress swelled within Nick's head, and buttered down a cool nausea. His temples throbbed, with each passing moment, as he waited, and waited, and waited.

"You do realize that everything- from day one- has been a charade, right? You know that this marriage, Matt and Julia-

"Olivia and Nick."

"Their relationship is built on a lie."

"Ours isn't."

"They're not two different things, Nick. They're the same. You say that you love me but you don't know the first thing about-

"Olivia Benson. Height Five, eight. Eye color. Brown. Hair color. Brown. Ethnicity. Other. Birth date. December 13th 1967. You're a Sagittarius. Your mother Serena Benson, is originally from New Hampshire. Your father, is not a topic for this discussion. You know how to cook but you prefer not to. You like going to the Yankees games, but you think the US Open is better. On a Sunday afternoon, you like going to art festivals. You take your coffee black with two creams and no sugar. At dinner you like to compliment you meal with wine- preferably red. White is too sweet, and it gives you headaches.

You think Chris Pine is hot, but nothing compares to the good old Stabler. You don't have any kids, but you want them so you can prove to your deceased mother that her mistreatment won't go to waste. You have a thing for chinese food, you consume more chocolate than a nine, ten and eleven year old, and you like flowers. Real ones. You don't believe in God but you blame him for your problems. You were once assaulted while undercover, you started seeing a shrink. You think politics are a waste of time, except when they intervene with a case. And let's not forget my favorite truth of all, shall we? You can't _stand_ the thought of being with me. You hate it here. If it weren't for the sex, and the free kid, I guess you'd walk straight into Schrader's arms. But let's not talk about would haves, and ifs," he answered with a careless indifference that turned the knife in her already wounded heart. "Please, by all means. Tell me what I don't know about you."

Olivia swiped at her eyes.

"No? I didn't leave anything out? Or does the cat have your tongue?"

A terrible thought and the fear it produced pushed her into a desperate outburst that she just could't hold back.

"I know how frustrating it can be- believe me. I've been there." Olivia swallowed, sending each word with care, and salty tears. Delivering each syllabul with a burning the burning passion that had loved Nick the past few months they spent together. "You can try so hard, to get their attention, it can be...maddening. Every minute you sit there waiting for them to just _say it_. Say what you want to hear." Her words echoed the relationship she had with Elliot. "So maybe I should just tell you what's really going- why I can't..._love you_." She quivered on the words because they were so close to what she wanted to say. So close to how she felt. What she wanted.

Her heart was with Nick, she loved him. She loved their baby. But Olivia was not free to love.

She had been living in a dream. Living in a sick, ridiculous fantasy. Telling herself that her own free will was the only thing in between her and real happiness. But that wasn't true. No matter what she felt for Nick, she couldn't help what she felt for another, and she most certainly couldn't help what that meant.

"Can't? What does that- what does that mean?"

"I'm engaged. Elliot and I are getting married."

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><p><strong>I AM UTTERLY SPEECHLESS AT THIS WEEKS REVIEWS! I WAS NOT EXPECTING SO MANY. THAT WAS WILD. I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW YOU GUYS HOW EVERYTHING PANS OUT. THEY ARE GOING TO DO SOME CRAZY THINGS TO THE BENSARO BABY-<strong>

**SPEAKING OF. TO ALL OF MY FANFICTION CHILDREN, AND MY FANFICTION LOVERS: (I can't believe this is a thing) THANKS FOR EXPANDING THE FAMILY. IT'S A JOY TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS, AND I'M HAPPY TO HAVE YOU GUYS ON BOARD. SO MUCH FUN! **

**OF COURSE, I SAY THIS ALL THE TIME, BUT IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING, OR IF YOU EVER HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, LET US KNOW. YOU GUYS KNOW HOW TO REACH US. WE'RE ALWAYS HERE ;) ALL OUR LOVE XO**

**and to the angry mob, that is now coming after me. to all my readers whom have possibly died, been killed, or hereinby been incarcerated for trying to kill me- JUST WAIT**


	12. At Risk

**nickandliv: **1967...but you said she's 38 in this story so that would put her birth year at 1976. Anywho, can they stop being stupid and BOTH say what they feel?

**yes, yes they can. in the world of fan fiction, anything is possible. **

**REVIEWS**

**katechoco: **Whoah what? Ahh come on!

**i know! i know! **

**britkneerose: **Omg are you kidding me right now!? Holy shit was not expecting that dear lord! I don't even know how to feel about that other than DAFAQ?

**i am not kidding you right now! you were not expecting that, dear lord! just feel like DAFAQ**

**roganjalex: **Are you serious my heart is literally broken. I am going to go cry my eyes out now. Olivia , Eliot, and you better go into witness protection for breaking Nick's heart beyond repair. I am expecting a very emotional Nick next chapter which I am begging you to post as soon as possible to cure my inconsolable heart.

**i am totally serious, patch that heart. dry those eyes. el, liv, and i were in wp- we've returned with cure for inconsolable heart. **

**fayevdm: **You know I love Elliot. I accept he's gonna be the bad guy in this one... I'm braced for it. Then you go and make them engaged. WOW. I thought he already broke her heart. The intrigue continues...

**intrigue! i repeat! intrigue in the building! - i know you love elliot, but don't worry, there's a special place for him in lie to me, twisted nerve? nope. nope. nope. sowy. brace yourself. get braces. **

**loisandclarksuperfan: **What? She's engaged to Elliot? I am so confused! This story has me all sorts of worked up. MORE!

**yes! she's engaged to ****elliot! don't be confused, work out not up! MORE HEEERREEEE! **

**mackiebaby: **Holy Hell! I am completely shocked but I kind of love it. I really want to know what is gonna happen with Bensaro and Bensler now. Like I honestly did not except this and now I am even more in love with the craziness of this FF but I NEED MORE!

**holy downstairs! you are completely shocked- but don't worry. I know you love it ;) Bensaro, Bensler. To be or not to be. you expected this! you need more!**

**bensonisbuttahz: **HOLY? The plot twists, the cliff hangers! If they don't get their shit together I might lose mine. I don't think I'm going to make it any longer!

**holy, holy, holy! is the lord god all mighty! the plot twists and cliff hangers that are too come! don't lose your shit man. if you lose that, and i step in it, i don't think I'M going to make it any longer. **

**lucinaheartssvu: **No. How could you?! I trusted you with my heart! Omg omg, I'm dead. See you in hell haha ;) awesome chapter! Can't wait for more 3 but \3

**omg omg omg come back to life! resuscitate! i'm not going to hell! come to heaven! - thanks ;)**

**joyfulriri: **GIRL, what the actual f*ck just happened? ENGAGED?GETTING MARRIED?WITH THIS SICK NASTARD?DOES SHE KNOW WHAT HE HAD DONE? Of course she doen't, that was a stupid question. POOR HEART IS BREAKING.

I still love you though, no kill threats from me!

**girl! what the actual fuck did you read? LOL yes. engaged. getting married to that sick nastard- she has no idea. **

**I LOVE YOU TOO! ;)**

**sunshyne2014: **I'm so completely and thoroughly DONE right now! It's my Friday off and I may not get out of bed all day now thanks to you! All the twists and turns are wreaking havoc on my psyche... .Can't!

**you can! **

**guest: **Y r u doing this to me .! Engaged to stabler ?! Really dude. Come on ! Nick and Olivia all the way

**it ****wasn't me! **

**sweetlittlebean: **WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FLIPPITY FLAPITY FUCK MAN!? WHY? WHY SHE GOTTA BE ENGAGED? AND WHY DOES ELLIOT HAVE TO BE A DOUCHE. #LETBENSAROLOVE

**beeeeccccaaaauuuuuseeeeee! :( i know. this sucks. **

**teleficsmovies211: **I'm breathing and calm and then I read this update and my pressure went right back up. I know this story is going to take me through the ringer. Omg think of the baby when you do stuff like this. I love you but ur killing me

**take deep breaths! deep breaths! breath in! breathe out! keep baby strong- got it**

**addicted. writer: **WTF! That is all.

**some how this sums everything up**

**mhbaby: **What. The. Fuck? How are they engaged? He was gone for three years! He never had contact with her! He is working with Schrader to take their baby! She said she loved Nick! But she can't because she's engaged to Elliot! We are so getting a divorce if I don't get answers in the next chapter! I STILL LOVE YOU!

**i love you more! just wait! let me prove it! we're not getting divorced! i care! **

**martybaby313: **You are killing me here!

**am not! it wasn't me! **

**ty: **Wait?! Next chapter NOW

**NOW!**

**guest12334: **The fuck?!; Olivia's just joking right?

**it would be a funny ass joke ;) **

**guest: **Say What? You have got to be kidding me...she's either cray cray or she wants to see angry Nick again!

**i think she is cray crayola. she wants that crayola nick if you know what i mean. **

**gemini2989: **you have me on the edge of my seat, please update soon

**don't fall out of your seat. updated ;) **

* * *

><p>They took their meals in separate rooms. They slept in separate beds. He wouldn't say good morning and he wouldn't say good night. No matter what Olivia tried, he simply would not, did not, want to acknowledge her. Instead, he avoided her at every chance he got. He even took it upon himself to actually visit the restaurant he was supposed to be running. Just over the course of a few days, he had made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with her and this was what Olivia had feared all along.<p>

Olivia stared at the back of his head from the kitchen as she cradled a cup of tea that Sunday afternoon. Nick was watching the football game, same as he had been for the past few days. She took a sip and admired him from afar. Quietly. Silently. He hated her right now, but she still loved him. It was odd to think of their relationship that way at a time like this, but she couldn't help but call it for what it was. Nick did hate her. She was sure of it this time. Her only question now was, why?

Did he really expect her to become fully, and emotionally attached to Julia? Who was she kidding? She already was. The accumulation of her choice seemed scary, now that she thought about it. Now all she had to do was admit it.

She tapped her nails against her mug.

The true test would be getting Nick to talk. How was she supposed to do that, when he wouldn't even look at her? Olivia thought about it long and hard until she remembered that she was a cop, and then suddenly, she didn't feel so bad about working for the law anymore, and she had to admit the job had it's perks because all she had to do was wait until he fell asleep. The rest was history.

It took say...four hours?

Four hours for him to finally go upstairs, shower, fall into a deep enough sleep where he wouldn't notice Olivia's touch, and be subject to all of her wicked plans.

Oh yeah.

She was going to get him back for the other week too. Nick might have thought he was all macho and in control of her and their situation, but she warned him. Olivia knew how to play this game. The rules he tried to break? She made them. The penalties he'd tried to enforce? She played them. And like an idiot, he had expected two winners in the end. But games don't work like that, Olivia thought as she tightened the knot around Nick's ankle.

But in wars, maybe they do. And that was the truth, Olivia was waiting to find out.

And after she turned up the heat, and took her seat halfway across the room, Olivia _waited_. She counted down every second, imagining the moment when his hooded eyes would suddenly flutter open. She anticipated the moment when he would try to move and suddenly realize that he couldn't. Dark, sinister eyes of onyx would flail out until they found her humorous brown ones staring back at him across the room. He would yell, shout, demand his release, and Olivia would try everything in the world not to laugh, because in truth, she had him write were she wanted him.

And if he _still _decided not to talk, then at least she would get the sex she so deeply craved. Call it hormones, call it addiction, but Olivia was quite simply hooked on Nick's-

Up.

He was up. Her heart thudded hard as he looked at her. Was it disgust? Or desire? Olivia couldn't be sure, but the look on his face when he tried to lunge at her was priceless.

He shot his pensive glance up at his wrists, and frowned, frustrated to see them hand cuffed to the bedpost. He tried to move his feet, but they too were tied and spread far enough apart to the point where he couldn't move.

"Relax. I just want to talk," Olivia spoke softly.

He gritted his teeth and shut her out- again.

"You can ignore me all you want, but you're not leaving this room until we talk. I don't care if you're hungry, if you have to pee, or if you need a shower. I will keep you in here, for as long as it takes."

"_Bitch._"

"Is that anyway to talk to the girl you love? The girl who's pregnant with your baby?" Olivia tilted her head. "You're not off to a good start detective."

"I swear to god when I get out of these cuffs-

"You'll what? Shove a vibrator up my crotch while you fuck me from behind? I don't think so." Nick was panting he was so angry. Was it worth it to calm him down? Olivia licked her lips as she thought about the different ways she could do that. She got up from her seat, took off her jeans, and jumped in bed with him, straddling his waist. "Why don't you tell me what's on your mind?" she suggested. "Tell me how it felt, when I told you about my engagement."

Nick laughed out loud, laughed in her face. "You. Fucking! Bitch!" he smiled. "You have got to be kidding me!" he groaned. "Oh my god. You can't- you can't be serious right now."

"I am," Olivia said softly. Nick shook his head. This was insane. "Tell me."

"No. Alright? No. We're talking about Elliot right now. I want to talk about us. Don't you owe me that, Liv? Don't I get _ a little _respect?"

Olivia sighed, her chest dropping as she exhaled. "Why? What's so important about us? What don't you know about us? If you're worried I don't love you...you have no need to be, because I do. I do love you. I fell in love with you a long time ago." She stuffed her hands in his boxers and pulled him out, pleased to know that he was already semi-hard. She didn't look like Nick was, but she could feel, and touch, and stroke... "But you already knew that didn't you?"

At that point he did look up. "I thought you felt the same way..."

He grew harder.

"I did- do."

Harder.

"So we need to talk about Elliot," she curled her fingers around him, and her eyelids dropped seductive. She heard him groan as she used her palm around him and used his own buttery wetness to pump faster. She swallowed dryly, trying to keep from moving too fast. She ached to have him inside her, spreading her, filling her. She licked her lips again, and gave him a look that promised he would fill her mouth soon. Her mouth watered, she felt herself getting moist at the idea.

With the muscles in his torso clenched tight, and his breathing under tight control, Nick managed to say, "No we don't."

"You want me to leave my best friend. The man of my dreams, and the love of my life. He proposed." Olivia fired back.

"Oh yeah? And how long did it take him to do that? To see what you're worth? To see how special you are? Was it after his wife left him? Or was it when the work load got too hard? Don't worry. I'll wait. As you told me before, I've got nothing but time."

Olivia dug her nails into the hot blooded part of him, and got the exact reaction she was looking for. Good. He deserved it. "Don't get cocky," she snapped. "I love Elliot too and you need to accept that."

"So then if you love him, why are you even going here?"

"Because I love him, and if we're going to do this, I need to know that this is worth it."

"I'm not telling you again. Every time I do, you shoot me down. So you can just forget about-

Olivia leaned down and kissed him. Pulled away. Looked in his eyes, and kissed him again. She enjoyed the feeling of their lips fused together. The light twist of the moisture in their mouth, the way he used his tongue to suck the swollen tip above her chin.

Addictive.

Nick swallowed as she broke the kiss. "What was that?" he asked out of breath.

"I told you...Olivia is different from Julia." Nick leaned for more, but Olivia pulled away. "Now do you see?"

"You know what I want," Nick groaned.

"You don't know me," Olivia swallowed.

"I do. Yes I do."

"Olivia Benson. Height. Five, eight. Eye color. Brown. Hair color. Brown. Ethnicity. Other. Birth date. December 13th 19967. I'm a sagittarius. My mother Serena Benson, is originally from New Hampshire." She took off her shirt. "I know how to cook, but I prefer not to. I like going to Yankees games, but I think the US Open is better. On a Sunday afternoon, I like going to art festivals. I take my coffee black with two creams and no sugar." She leaned over, grabbed the scissors and began to cut Nick's shirt, splitting it right down the middle.

"At dinner I like to compliment my meal with wine- preferably red. White is too sweet, and it gives me headaches." She ditched the scissors, started kissing his chest and the sides of his waist. "I think Chris _Hemsworth_ is hot, but nothing compares to the good old Stabler. After three pregnancy tests, I found out I was pregnant early this afternoon."

They did it?

He was going to be a father?

He knew...of course he knew, but...that was just mind talk and wishful thinking. And now it was true? Nick felt the happiness and the pride swelling within him, but it was hard to enjoy it with Olivia trying to get him off. He wanted to touch her, and hold her, and- god damn it he wanted out of these cuffs.

Nick rattled against his restraints again, feeling her lips getting closer and closer to-

He clenched his eyes tight gasped as she took him in her mouth.

Her warm, wet, Nick sucking mouth. His fingers cringed and ached to touch her hair, but no such thing was going to happen. His eyes shot open and he caught sight of her silky hair as it bobbed over him. He wanted to shout. Take me! Fuck me! Frustration boiled inside but he kept his resistance deep inside.

He started to moan her name, each suck and gentle flick of her tongue was pushing him so close to the edge. She had know. She had to know that he was going to blow.

He heard her come up for air, and his stomach lurched as he saw her eyes. They were red. They were dark. They were heavy. "I have a thing for chinese food. I consume more chocolate than a nine, ten, and eleven year old, and I like flowers," she panted, sat up, took off her bra. "Real ones." She leaned in pressed her body against his, and took his mouth inside hers again. "I do believe in God- I blame him for my problems, I ask him lots of questions, and every now and then, when I don't realize it. He answers them. I think politics are a waste of time, except when they intervene with a case." She explained between each kiss. "And let's not forget my favorite truth of all, shall we?" She closed her eyes as she felt Nick thrusting against her entrance, trying to get inside, trying to spread her in half with his thick and hardness. "That I'm in love with you. And I want to be with you." Nick was doing strange things with his head, trying to kiss her? Trying to get her attention?

She grinned and positioned herself so that she was lounging over top of his body. "Did I leave anything out?"

Nick shook his head. "Unless you count the part where it says that I love you too, and that I love this baby...and that I want to be with you for the rest of my life."

Olivia ignored the heated burn in her eyes, and she kissed her Nick- because he belonged to her now, and when she was done, she quietly got up and started walking towards the bathroom.

"Where are you going? I thought-

"You thought what?" Olivia turned back to look at him, standing in her nakedness. She saw the look on Nick's face. All confused, and worried at the same time. She smiled. "What? Did you think we were going to sleep together? Oh no. Not for a very, very, long time."

And with that, she walked away, smiling as Nick called her name.

Not Julia.

But Olivia. Only Olivia.

* * *

><p><strong>guys. you like, blew up my review box. this story went from like 70 something reviews to 91 in one chapter. <strong>

**is it me, or do you guys just have goals? **

**I don't mind, i love it but- WOW**

**COMING UP, let's go peek on Elliot and Schrader. **


	13. Still Gone

**nickandliv: **I'm so lost. If she and El are engaged and in love (still reeling from that coming out of the blue), you said she took this assignment because she wanted to have a baby and had no prospects but if they were together then why not get pregnant by her fiance? I need clarity.

**She tried with Elliot, and they thought they were successful so when Jenna came in the precinct that day, the only thing Elliot thought about was Olivia and their supposed baby. He killed Jenna trying to protect them- however they were wrong, so really Olivia was just left alone and Elliot was no where to be found after Schrader scooped him up. **

**REVIEWS**

**roganjalex: **Worth everything about everything

**OH GOODIE! **

**sunshyne2014: **I think I flatlined for a moment there. Good thing I keep a defibrilator handy! I just need these two to get it together already! Sheesh!

**we're going to get it together, don't worry ;) **

**britkneerose: **Frickin love it! Read it 2x already! So cruel yet so pefect! *claps hands*

**AAA we love you! Wait until the next Liv and Nick chapter. Just wait.**

**mhbaby: **What? That isn't fair! I'm hot and bothered bc of this! You can't do that. I want my scene NOW! Please give it to meee! Sounded weird...

**LOL! No...not that weird ;)**

**myangelmariska: **SHITE THAT WAS SEXY

**Not yet little bean! Not yet!**

**arce3: **Ok I just read all of the 12 chapters all in once and I'm not sorry. I'm overwhelmed by this. Shit I need more and more of this. Do you know any Fanfiction addicted anonymous?

**By far the best review ever! I bet you're just going crazy aren't you? Yikes! I don't know any fan fiction addicted anonymous! Do you? Fill me in :)**

**samantha.m: **I don't know whether to love or hate you

**Both. Definitely both**

**guest: **Why? Why? Why? Please update...dont forget about this story...it is too awesome!

**I didn't forget! ;)**

**gemini2989: **update again soon, love this story

**You love this story, I love you, I love this story, I mean it's perfect match made in heaven. **

* * *

><p>Nick was physically and sexually exhausted by the time Olivia dragged him into the tub by near the end of the week. She hadn't released her handcuffs, which meant she still wasn't finished with him, but he hoped, and god he how he truly did, that she would finally let him go. He looked down at his length as it twitched towards her.<p>

All week.

The fondling.

The teasing.

And not once did she let him inside her. Do you know how much strength it took to hold back? Not to rip her touch away from the chains and shove her down? Not to jam himself in what he only new to be the sweet silk of Olivia's body? It took resentful strength. Faith too. Every touch she played on him made his body scream for more. He'd starting breathing through his nose, breaking out into a pant, begging her to stop or do what he wanted- though at this time it was more characterized as a need.

Nick needed to be with her- he had to. It was imperative, otherwise everything he felt for her, everything his body burned to give, was going to explode right to the tip of him. The thought seemed so real at the time.

Standing against the cool tile of their bathroom, stark naked, Nick clenched his teeth as Olivia began to undress. He tried to focus on everything- anything other than her skin, because he knew how soft it was. He forced himself to look away from her supple breasts as they fell from her bra. Her backside wasn't an option either because he'd only look down, and god forbid if he stared at the one place he longed to be, because he could only imagine the fluids there as it slipped down her thighs.

Pressing the air through his nose, he tried to focus on the warmth that was forming in the heel of his soles, and not the fact that they would be in close proximity of one another. But before he could gather the peace in mind, Olivia was walking towards him pulling him by her the metal chain that linked one wrist to the other and helping him into the tub.

She cleaned herself first and Nick made no point to stare at the ceiling instead of her first. It would have been impossible to ignore the slight slant of water as it carried soap suds down her body, and once again, thoughts of wet, soft, heat, clouded Nick's mind. But nothing undid him more when Olivia decided to sit on his lap, lining her open thighs up with the tall press of his thickness, just so she could give him a nice, clean shave. Nick stared at her lips as she brought the blade across his jaw line.

He got a little ahead of himself when he kissed her, but he didn't regret an ounce of his decision, especially not when she kissed him back, and his mouth began to fill with her taste. But like everything else, it was short, unfinished. Left him wanting.

He leaned back into the tub and officially gave up trying to penetrate her- no pun intended.

"What?" Olivia asked.

"I love you," he answered.

Given the way she behaved all week, you would have thought that Olivia would have smiled, smirked, or even said it back, but she didn't. She just gave him a blank stare, and then asked him very seriously, very quietly, "How much?"

Nick pressed forward again, careful not to lock her in to his grip because the last time he tried something that stupid, Olivia had some serious repercussions. But he leaned closer, kissed her firmly on her mouth and whispered something like, "More than anything, more than anyone."

"Anyone?" she questioned.

"Except the baby of course."

And Olivia was quiet, resuming her hand at his chin. "I don't believe you..." Olivia said after some time. Her words sent a ripple of frustration through Nick.

"What?" he gritted out through his teeth. "What do I have to do? Just tell me, because all of this is really pissing me-

"Fuck me."

The words hit Nick square across the jaw. The request sounding so ridiculous that he wanted to laugh. He actually did. "You're joking right?"

"No. I'm not." Olivia answered solemnly. "So what's it going to be?"

"Uncuff me." Nick pressed, using the muscles in his hips to thrust forward and put more pressure on her. She flinched, the contact as devastating for him as it was for her, but she didn't respond. "Olivia?"

"Tonight. I'll uncuff you tonight."

"No, Olivia. What are you talking about?"

"You said that you loved me. So tonight, we're going to put that to the test," she sighed, exhaustedly. The blade fell into the tub and she wiped away the final bit of shaving cream from Nick's mouth. "But before you do, I need to get us some food. You're going to need your strength," she'd said, and then she started to climb out of the tub.

* * *

><p><strong>Not yet!- So it's short, I know. I want you guys to be as strung up as Nick, because nothing can prepare you for what's coming. <strong>

**Next: We see how Elliot is handling the job. **


	14. What Will We Do

**REVIEWS**

**roganjalex: **So much in such a short chapter. Is it possible for love & hate where you ended it all at onece

**Yes it's possible ;) **

**britkneerose: **Oooooo grrrrr. Yup y'all succeed in getting me stung up like Nick. Way to Dick Wolf everyone!

**lol! Dick wolfing! Repeat, I am dick wolfing! (Can this become a thing?! It needs to become a thing!) **

**sunshyne2014: **UGH! You are absolutely killing me here! I don't know if I'll make it to "what's coming up." :P

**you have to! you must survive! I don't care if you have to donna summers that shit. SURVIVE!**

* * *

><p>Elliot glanced down at the paperwork Schrader dropped off earlier this week for the hundredth time and went over the names again.<p>

Claire.

Rebecca.

Jane.

Elizabeth.

Lisa.

Trina.

Iris.

Michelle.

Brenda.

Lorraine.

And Susan.

They were Wives. Mothers. Best Friends. And one of them was going to die tonight. Schrader had provided ample intel on each woman. Stuff dating as far back as high school diplomas, which Elliot guessed was just a benefactor to any decision he might have to make. For example, putting a bullet through someone who used to bully kids on the JV team looked a lot more appealing than offing someone who volunteered at the nearest shelter.

It was ludicrous obviously. There really, was no way to justify killing a human life, but it sure made things a hell of a lot easier. If Elliot could cut it down to something more technical, make it seem like he was leveling out a score, it just felt better. He didn't allow himself to think about how they might have changed over the years or any of it. He had to think about them in height of their malice. Otherwise, he'd never be able to do it.

His first candidate? Elizabeth Darrow.

5'10", blonde, and gorgeous. She was every man's dream. Big boobs, nice lips, blue eyes. The happy mother of three boys, and loving wife of one, lucky Mr. Darrow. Elliot came to this conclusion after learning of a cheer incident that happened in college. Not to mention she belonged to a sorority house notorious for hazing. He and Olivia booked the same place twice for GHB, so you better bet your ass she was number one.

Trouble was, he could never get a time during the day where she wasn't with her kids, or her family. The chick practically lived for her boys. She had no social life as far as Elliot could tell- another red flag- and she almost never left the house unless it was for groceries.

Killing her was going to be hard. Elliot didn't have a problem with pulling the trigger, but he'd never forgive himself if he did it in front of one of her kids. Young or old, they didn't deserve to have that memory. They didn't deserve any of what was coming towards them, but Elliot had to do what he had to in order to protect his family.

And Olivia? He had to stop caring about her a long time ago. Something he never thought was possible, became a sudden reality when the lives of his children were threatened. But he couldn't think too long on it. He never could. Thinking only made it worse. Thinking only made the guilt boil even thicker, and thinking only made him want to point the trigger at himself instead of at Elizabeth Darrow.

He slouched down low in his car as he watched Elizabeth from afar. She was leaving the local market, carting her youngest with the groceries and holding the hand of her middle child.

No.

Killing her would not be easy.

He was lowering his binoculars when his cell began to ring.

Schrader.

Putting the phone to his ear, he sat up a little and pulled out his notepad. "I'm working. What?" he answered.

Two miles away, in his obnoxious house on the hill, Schrader paced back and forth in his office. "Is it done?"

"No."

"What the hell are you doing? We're running out of time," Schrader yelled.

"Look, just relax ok. I'm not going to do it in front of her kids. I've gotta find a way to get her alone. Then I'll go."

"Don't mess this up!" Schrader warned in a scolding tone.

Elliot flinched and pulled the phone away from his ear. The nerve of this guy. For his sixty some years, he could build up a tantrum if he wanted. "Look, take a zanex. Lay off the scotch. I'll call you when it's finished."

"Elliot, I'm not through with you."

"Well, I'm through with you." Elliot growled, and hung up the phone.

Schrader stood in his fury, before growling and slamming the wire down onto the floor, so the phone splintered into two at his feet. He was panting in anger when his honored guest turned the corner wearing a black, velvet, form fitting dress.

"Is everything all right Mr. Lennox?"

Schrader's eyes shot up and he came face to face with his date for the evening. He was having a little get together at the house to celebrate what should have been news of Elliot's success, but as of late that wasn't coming any time soon. Using all the patience he had, Schrader sighed, frustratingly before trying to soften is eyes.

"Everything's alright Kathleen. I just have some business that needs to be tended to."

And the blue eyes, so like her father's sparked with light, only for a smile to grace brightly on her youthful cheeks. "Well, that's no reason to get upset. If you needed some help, why didn't you just ask?" Kathleen laughed as she moved to straighten Schrader's tie.

"I suppose I just didn't want you to get upset."

"Never. Now come on. Let's find you something for the party. I want you to look your best."

"Have you invited your brothers and sisters to come like I asked?" Schrader pressed as they began to walk through out his house.

"Yes. And my mother will come too. She's very proud of the work I'm doing for you. I want you to know I really appreciate it Mr. Lennox. Getting the experience, hands on will really help me further my career and get my degree. Nursing is no joke, and...I'm really very happy to have the time to do an independent study. It's been great."

"The pleasure's all mine, my dear."

"Are you sure, you don't want me to credit you in my thesis? I'd love to get the chance to talk about some of your work, and it'd be like a thank you of sorts. The whole college will get to see, and people will know who you are."

"No, no. Just do good in school. That's all the thanks I'll need." Schrader said kindly.

"Mr. Lennox, there has to be some way I could repay you." Kathleen stammered.

"Don't even think it. You're family has done enough. Now come, let's see what the rest of the night will bring."

* * *

><p><strong>...Tonight. It's going DOWN <strong>


	15. Consummation

**REVIEWS**

**mhbaby: **Where the hell is my BENSARO SEX?! I have waited forever and now I have to wait longer? Oh that's it we are getting a divorce. I'm taking away everything from you just like you did to me. (COME ON UPDATE SOON PLEASEEE!)

**If you still want to divorce me after this chapter, I will be so sad. OMG. Nothing else will matter. I will probably never forgive myself. **

**aspurgeon: **First of all, all I can say is WOW to this fanfic. I read all the chapters the other day and your two most recent today. This is soooo steamy and I LOVE IT! I love how you have paired Nick and Olivia. The sexual built up hidden love for each other is AWESOME! I feel a little bad for Elliot and this doctor dude is CREEPY! can't wait to see what the rest of this story will unfold. Liv pregnant, little baby bump growing, delivery (whoa, that'll be an intense chapter) etc... Don't keep us waiting too long for the next chapter!

**You poor soul. I can't believe you read this all in one sitting. But at the same time, I love that you did! Thanks for reading, and your lovely review. As you can tell, sexual built up and hidden love is an ongoing theme. The rest is just the sweetest thing ever. I wasn't really planning on going into detail about Liv's pregnancy, cause the story will be over soon, and a lot of what happens transpires over the next couple of days but we'll see ;)**

**aschardein: **OMG! This cannot be good. Thank you for updating twice today...maybe three times the charm? :)

**I tried! Really I did! Hopefully the morning after isn't so bad? **

**arce3: **Idk if I want more Elliot or Liv and Nick, maybe both? Thank God for you fanfic I loved every little thing about this two chapters in row. Why do I have a feeling that Elliot is about to do another mistake? I'll wait until later to find out

**You want both. Definitely both. And yes, your feelings are right. Elliot is going to make a mistake. A huge mistake. **

**sunshyne2014: **Oh Em Gee! What the ham sammich is even going on here? :P

**Ham Sammich! Ham Sammich! Nothing else but Ham Sammich!**

**guest: **So he betrayed Elliott anyway...no surprise there. This story is quite intriguing! I wish Nick & Liv would get their stuff together! Why is Liv punishing Nick still? She seems a little 'Misery' like now. You know how the lady tied the dude to the bed and tortured him? Lol! Please update soon.

**Cause she wants him to do something really. Really. Really. Kinky.**

**fayevdm: **YIKES!

**Couldn't have said it better ;)**

* * *

><p>Olivia pinched her nipples as she arched into Nick's mouth on the dining room table. She told him that they needed to eat, but she never said what was on the menu. Of course when Nick realized what she was asking, he jumped at the opportunity. Olivia didn't just hold out on him this week, she held out on herself too. Feeling Nick's lips on her like this made her realize she never wanted it to end. Already she made him make her cum twice, on his mouth alone. His sucking made the cool air tickle her swollen skin in all the right places.<p>

Olivia winced as she rubbed her fingers over her clit, her head hitting the table again as she moved her hips into Nick's tongue. "_Fuck baby, right there." _She panted, her face tight in ecstasy. _"Oh, god Nick. I'm gonna cum..." _

Faster now. Harder. Until she exploded on his chin, his lips left to kiss her sex. She gave herself a moment to catch her breath, before gingerly rolling on one side. She breathed heavily through her nostrils, almost wishing she didn't plan what she did, for their evening together, but it couldn't be stopped now. And besides. She'd wanted to do this for a long time, she just never had the opportunity to do it like now. The fear of people knowing,...the repercussions...the fear of others wanting to do it again- In other words, what was going to happen tonight had been born of pure fantasy. It was never supposed to happen, just something she secretly thought about, but after tonight, all that would change.

After tonight- if he still wanted her- Olivia would give herself completely to Nick, and then she'd be the one to indulge in his fantasies.

With her lingering strength she scraped Nick's empty dinner plate away and plucked the key from underneath the porcelain table setting. Her fingers dwindled over the metal key before she got a hold of herself. Leaning forward she sat up once more and relaxed her legs. Nick nearly shot up out of his chair when he saw what she was holding but he didn't get very because Olivia was kicking him back down.

"Don't lunge at me," Olivia frowned. "I need you to be serious. When you take me, I need you to last. I've been waiting to have you too. It wouldn't be fair if you were the only one that got off."

Nick closed is mouth, solemnly disappointed but eager and understanding to what she was saying. "I get it," he whispered. "You can trust me. I'll do whatever you want, just..." he motioned towards the key. Olivia stared at him once more, before grabbing the napkin and wiping his mouth.

Her touch lingered on his jaw. "Don't make me regret it," she said softly, and then finally, she released the locks. Nick closed his eyes, as the feeling of release over took him. The sting of his restraints was raw and sore, and as much as it hurt, it wasn't enough to stray his hands from what he really wanted to touch. Fingers trembling, Nick moved his hands forward, staring up at Olivia as she looked down at him. Though he hadn't touched her yer, she too was shaking, waiting, knowing what he was going to do once his body made contact with hers.

And then she felt it. The tips of his fingers warm as they touched, felt, the heat of his hands they encircled around her waist, and then his thumb, strumming, stroking, and caressing her still flat stomach. She let him pull her closer, couldn't keep herself from closing her eyes when he started to kiss her the tiny curve of her bump. Even though it was impossible to tell that she was pregnant, it warmed Olivia's heart to know that her pin sized pea was lying somewhere beneath her stomach already trying to grow, already unimaginably loved.

She ran her fingers through Nick's hair and just sat in the moment. Nick was going to be a great father. He'd worked so hard to get Olivia pregnant and now that she was, he wanted to give her the world, and she wanted to live in it- with him. As far as she was concerned, this was her life now. Nothing else was a priority. The case, the job, none of it mattered to her anymore. All she was concerned about was her family- the one she and Nick started together. The rest was just background noise...

Olivia was so lost in her train of thought that she hadn't realized that Nick was inching towards her neck. Her eyes fluttered open. Red. Hazed with lust, desire, and she instinctively let him go on. Let him kiss, let his urgency grow the way it had all week. And when he finally reached the corner of her face, his tongue slipping out to puncture her pulse, Olivia turned into his touch and whispered very quietly what she wanted him to do.

When she was finished, Nick slowly pulled away and looked at her. "Are you sure?" he said quietly.

"I need you to."

Well that was a surprise. Doing what she wanted, wasn't exactly what you described as being a need, but if it was _what she wanted_ then...

"Turn over." Nick answered. Olivia did as she was asked, sliding off the edge of the table so she could turn around and bend over. Nick grabbed the base of his erection and pointed it towards her dripping entrance, rubbing it along her outer folds. Olivia shivered with anticipation, pulsing as his head strummed over her clit, then back again, teasing the slit.

He was soaking his hardness with her juices, given it was the only thing he had to make his penetration easier. He would have to take his time. Really try not to lose control, just so she could find pleasure in what she wanted him to do. It took a good couple of minutes, of just rocking back and forth, his piece just gliding over her sopping wetness until he was confident he wouldn't hurt her any more than he had to.

Using both of his hands he pried her cheeks apart before bringing a singular hand back to guide his throbbing piece into her. Olivia clenched her eyes shut, seething through his teeth as Nick began to push inside her. She took inch by inching, fighting inward as she clawed the corners of the table, desperately begging him to go slow, though she was more than grateful each and every time he stopped and gave her a moment to adjust.

Before long he was able to hilt himself fully within her, and the pain began to simmer down. He began thrusting into her gently, only making small thrusts, even when she cried out noisily, even as she continued to drip on him from the other end. He knew she wanted him, craved him mind, body and soul, but he swore to take his time. His days of taking advantage of her were over. Olivia was his now, so what he did and how he did it, ultimately changed.

But it was hard to be that considerate when Olivia was pushing back on his waist, pressing the soft skin of her backside along him. She wanted to feel it, every pulse of his erection, every swell, every twitch of bliss as he pressed into her again and again. _"Don't stop, Nick. Don't stop," _she panted. And then that it was it. She started to moan- hard. And it became difficult to stay in control.

With each cry of ecstasy, Nick fell deeper, and deeper into a void that he couldn't even begin to describe. The way her body gripped him, the tightness, was simply unmatched. No matter where he was inside her, Olivia constricted him. Where could you find the balance? How could he even begin to make her feel the way she made him feel? Nick had half a mind of where to start.

Reaching around front, he started to play with her clit. It was hard, his fingers were so slippery that it made it difficult to focus on one spot, but when he could- when he did, Olivia got louder. She started to squirm, unsure of which end to please first. She ended up thrusting into Nick's hand, pleasuring herself the best she could, before an unknown feeling began to center in the pit of her stomach. Nick dug his fingers into the cheeks of Olivia's bottom, grunting like an outright animal.

Moving against her so tenderly, that all he could do was moan her name._"Fuck I'm gonna cum, oh fuck, Olivia._ Fuck..."

Eyes sealed shut, mouth open in a silent cry for more, Olivia let her orgasm rush through her body, never feeling the intensity of her release so internally until now. Her body quaked as she shuddered her own release. Nick's cum spilling from her hole was just the icing on the cake. It all felt good to her. Everything felt good. She panted against the table, her face sticking to the sweat that left her body, and trembled as she felt Nick starting to kiss the path of her spine.

And yet only still, this was only the beginning.

"What now?" Nick panted.

"The bed..." Olivia breathed. And without further instruction, Nick gathered Olivia into his arms until she was resting softly against her sheets. She was tired, he could tell, but there was something...something in her eyes that Nick couldn't quite understand. Holding her head in the crook of his arms, Nick used his free hand to roam up and down Olivia's body. He worshiped her curves, he loved the way her breasts felt in his hands, the way she would flutter her eyes and turn to look at him. Her brown, chocolate orbs, glistening with surprise...She was always surprised when he touched her, something he assumed that Elliot was more or less responsible for.

When his fingers finally reached her jaw she was trembling again. Her head lifting gingerly so she could press her lips on his and kiss him tenderly. She kissed him until she was breathless, until she couldn't breathe and she needed air. And when she was satisfied she imitated his touch so that she could have his full attention.

"Will you do it again?" she whispered.

Nick nodded.

Another kiss.

"Good," Olivia sighed. "Because this time, I don't want you to stop. No matter what comes through that door," and she pointed over Nick's shoulder. "No matter what happens..._Don't. Stop." _

* * *

><p><strong>I wonder what the hell is going to come through that door...<strong>


	16. Perpetual

**you guys are so cute thinking that it's Elliot. **

**REVIEWS**

**addicted. writer: **Wtf is this? WTF is this? I'm just speechless man. I just . . . I'm done. I'm completely done until the next chapter! LOL!

**BE UNDONE! LOL i love this review ;)**

**arce3: **Why do I have a feeling that Olivia knows what fuck is about to happen? Does it have something to do with Elliot? Sweet Jesus I'm wrapped around this shit. Bring more honey, I'm more than ready

**You have good feelings...No nothing to do with Elliot, but I doubt you're ready for this next number**

**myangelmariska: **I need severely minutes, a glass of wine, a cigarette and a cold shower, because oh my God. Wow. Just... And what the hell is coming through that door?

**I wish I could insert some emojis right now but I don't know if that will happen. And girl if you need to do all that after that chapter, I'll say my prayers for you now cause I don't know if you'll make it after this one. **

**roganjalex: **Oh my gosh I don't want it end to but if it has to all I want is Nick & Olivia to be end game

**Don't worry ;) There will be plenty of Bensaro before we close our book ;) We won't leave you hanging.**

**roganjalex: **Unh I I have a feeling Nick is going to pissed angry and so am I. Elliot is going to be walking through that door and Nick is going to realize he was taken advantage of. My poor Nick he is never going to recover. Tears are running down my cheeks at what is going to happen to Nick.

**Although this won't be happening, I really must say, you have quite the imagination. I admire it- ALOT. You could be useful in some of my other fanfictions. I like the way you think. So twisted! Love! Interested?**

**joyfulriri: **this was so hot! But what the hell will come through the door? Or should I ask who? Update soon, please don't let us hanging!

**FINALLY! SOMEONE ASKS THE SMART QUESTION! Too bad you'll get a stupid answer- Don't be silly! We never kiss and tell ;)**

**mhbaby: **Thank you! We aren't getting divorced...But WTF IS THAT? WHO'S GONNA COME THROUGH THE DOOR? THIS STORY IS EVERYTHING!

**EVIL GRIN! **

**aschardein: **Oh crap. You have done it to me again! Yes, the morning after was worth the wait. Only problem is now you have me yearning for more. Your writing is like a fucking drug and I've found that I can't seem to get enough. Please don't be cruel. Update quickly.

**I have your fix! I typed as fast as I could!**

**- now. Before we get started. Don't be alarmed. You guys have read sexy time like this before, but in true fashion we put a little twist on it. Obviously I don't think Olivia would ever do any of what is described in this next scene, but I thought it would be interesting to try...just this once. That being said. Hide your phones, lock your doors, get your ice, leave your kids, and tell your mama you'll talk later, 'cause it's ON.**

* * *

><p>Nick leaned off of Olivia, the confusion clear and evident on his face. "Wha- What does that mean?" he frowned. His grip tightening around her, lifting her chin defiantly and tossing back her hair. She welcomed his curiosity before driving it away at first glance. She thrust her tongue back into his mouth until the question he'd asked was far from memory. It was best that he'd forget than face the answer. Olivia wasn't entirely too keen on what it meant herself. Even now, her skin tingled with anticipation and fear.<p>

She still wanted to do it- desperately, but this was _crazy_. Crazy on a whole new level of crazy.

She'd already told herself that it was never going to happen again, so she had to make the most of it while it lasted. Otherwise, there'd be a waste. Otherwise, she'd always think about it, and crave it again and crave for more. The thought sent fresh chills down her spine, and her whole body flared in shock. She had to lay it down. Now. Get Nick to see what was going to happen.

"Nick..." she panted, breaking the kiss. "I'm going to ask you if you love me, three times tonight. The first time, you're gonna tell me what you said this morning, and we'll go on. And we will continue to make love...The second time I ask- if you're anything like I hope- you'll say it again...Only this time, this time you won't mean it. Your confirmation will come out of your lust for me and nothing else. Then the third time I ask, you'll be silent, and you'll need to think about it long and hard. You'll experience a range of emotions, all that will leave you speechless, and when you finally come around to your answer...whatever it maybe, all that I want is for you to be honest with me. No matter how ludicrous your thoughts or words are. Promise me you'll say them. I don't want to go back to that- when we don't speak, and I have to walk around here wondering what's in that head of yours. Promise me you'll be honest."

And with that, Olivia let the rest go. She wouldn't tell him that no matter what he thought of her, that she would always love him. She wouldn't dare tell him that after tonight she would belong to him in every way that a woman could belong to a man. The whispers of their bond and what it meant to her would have to be stored up for another day, because if by the end of this night, Nick suddenly decided that he no longer wanted to be with her, Olivia would be prepared.

That's just the way she was.

Her life. Her experiences. They made her that way. There were no reasons to explain. And if you're wondering why she would go through the trouble if it was going to risk her relationship with Nick...well, she wasn't ready to answer that yet. Just like she wasn't ready to reveal her darkest craving as of yet. She assumed it would all come out with the morning. This time tomorrow she'd be a completely different person. This fiend- the animal Nick had unleashed over their months together, would finally be put to rest, and she'd be free to be Olivia again.

She could almost taste the release, she was so close. The sheer desire was enough to set her plans in motion.

Wrapping Nick into another deep kiss she rolled on top of him until he was right where she wanted. Using her sexual advantages, she coaxed him into it until she had his arms pinned above his head. Her movements were swift that he hadn't seen the flash of silver coming, didn't register what she was doing in the slightest- but he felt it. Nick jerked as he realized his he was being cuffed to the bed once more.

"_No, no no. Wait, wait, wait. What are you doing?" _He squirmed.

"I need you to be still when this happens-

Nick groaned in frustration. "I'm not going to do anything- Liv, come on."

"Do you love me?"

The look he turned on her made her wish the question back, but it was already too late, and even though her heart swelled painfully, she knew she was going to have to go ahead with his no matter what the result. "More than anything...more than anyone." Nick made no attempt to gloss over his words. If anything he was rolling his eyes at her. He was so pissed to be back in cuffs it didn't even make sense. He was just sitting there. Angry, frustrated and horny.

It wasn't a good combination for a man of his caliber.

But Olivia saw to him in good time. Her hand was palming his rigid erection with determined expertise. Nick could only count the minutes before Olivia resided on him. And when she finally did, he pretended not to care that she was facing away. All he could think about were the round curves of her backside. The soft skin grinding on him. Her hair waving in his face. Her moans, her breasts sliding in his hands. Her sweat. The smell of her sex as it was carelessly lifted in the air, unattended to.

He'd tried. Well into their sexual fog, he'd tried to give her pleasure there, but Olivia didn't seem to want it. Just from the back. Only in the back. It seemed easy enough. He thought, maybe she had one of those new mother fears about hurting the baby, but Olivia was a smart woman. She had to know that wasn't true...

"Nick...Remember what I said," Olivia panted, her eyes coming to rest on a striking pair of blue ones. "_Don't. Stop."_

Was he even listening? She winced as his grip on one of her breasts was became stronger than before. And yet, she could hardly cry out to say that it hurt or that she wanted him to be easy because her heart was thudding so fast.

Palpitating- because she was staring at Lathan Hoss.

A few weeks ago, he hadn't been any more than another guy who tried to make a pass on her. A few weeks ago, he had only been someone Olivia used to make herself feel better, and Nick jealous, when she escaped the house and spent the day out on her own. Lathan made her laugh. Lathan made her forget about the case. Lathan gave her his number and told her to call if she ever got bored again.

And that day just so happened to be today.

They'd already discussed the arrangements. Now it was just a matter of following through.

Olivia licked her lips in anticipation as Lathan took off his shirt. He'd already removed his shoes, and his eyes were glued on Olivia's sex. The one place she'd kept just for him. Her hole practically tightened all on it's own, just thinking about the penetration. The fulfillment she'd been waiting for all week.

And Lathan wasn't just some guy either. He was handsome. Stupid handsome. Young, only caught Olivia by four years. He worked out- regularly. He had nice dark hair, toned muscles on every rim and heel of his body, the sweetest smile, the kindest words on his tongue and the a package _almost_ as big as Nick's. She couldn't have found a better candidate to do this with.

She had seconds now. Fleeting moments before it all began.

Now all she had to do was tell Nick. _"Nick..." _She pressed her fingers over her clit. _"Do you remember the day I walked out on you?...And I spent the whole day ou-out in town?" _

_"Yes...yes...yes-fuck!" _

_"I never told you but I met a man that day. And he's here now, because I asked him to come." _Lathan smiled at her, stepping up to both she and Nick so Nick could get a good look at him. With the position they were in, she'd been blocking his view thus far. Nick was in deep. Too deep to find fury. But he felt it. He felt it growing in the pit of his stomach.

He was churning over in rage, jealousy, fury, but that only transcended into his thrusts inside her, which only got harder as the minutes went by. "You brought him here?" Nick gritted out behind clenched teeth. An expression both blamed on his disapproval and his reaction to the constant impalement of Olivia's body. He was annoyed when all she did was nod. "Why?" And that time, his question demanded an answer.

"Because I want you both..."

Nick dug his fingers so hard into Olivia's skin that she had to close her eyes and breathe through her nose, just to keep from squirming in front of Lathan. Nick stared out in the space in front of him. He wanted to scream. And he wanted to shout. He didn't want to share Olivia. And yet, Olivia clearly, wanted to be shared. She didn't even ask him. Didn't even give him a choice in the matter. No wonder she had to tie him up. She didn't want him to kill the guy, while he was doing her.

Nick bit his lip as Olivia began to slow down. There were so many things on his mind he couldn't even begin to get the words out. Being a father brought in a whole other line of being possessive, and this stunt definitely crossed that line. This was unbelievable. He wanted so badly to tell Lathan that if he even so much as hurt Olivia, he wouldn't walk out of the house the same way he came in, but something deep down told him it probably wasn't worth it.

Olivia did want this. And on an even different scale, he did deserve this. She'd warned him before about the stunt he pulled when they conceived their baby. She might as well have spelled the whole thing out for him that night, but he had been stupid, and too blinded by his frustration to see it. He bit back another slur of cuss words before taking a slight glance at the other guy in the room. Slight glance. That was all. "All right. Fine." Nick said quietly. His death grip, leaving her ribs to find it's place around her throat. "But when it's over," he whispered darkly. "_It's over." _

And with that his thrusting resumed- harder then before. His grip was lifted. And Olivia was free to do whatever she pleased.

Lathan grinned at Olivia and kissed her square on the lips, before whispering in her ear. "Just relax...I'll go down on you first. Make sure, you're really ready."

And then Lathan was in between Olivia's spread legs. Her heart beat is so fast, and so hard that she can't even feel it anymore.

This is it.

Olivia gasped as Lathan used just one finger to stroke her clit as gently as possible. It feels amazing, after the amount of time she'd been waiting to be touched, she couldn't help but yearn for more. His touch feels good but she wants his tongue. Not surprisingly so, Lathan makes for beg for it too. He kisses her first, leaving soft kisses on her thighs, and her sex. His light stubble brushing against her already swollen skin doesn't help anymore than the gentle breath of his lungs airing out on her open lips.

But he won't go any further.

She has to beg.

"_Do it..." _she pleads. And without hesitation, Lathan's tongue is slipping out, and swirling all over her labia. She was already wet from her other orgasms but what she was feeding him now was nothing compared to what was there before. It's almost too much. And she gets off quick, rocking her hips onto Lathan's tongue, settling her backside onto Nick. It's all too much. Much too much.

When one of his fingers gets inside, it got even better. Olivia started to thrash all over the place, unable to control herself or even think. And she tried to hold out but her orgasm isn't waiting for anything. Nick's pumping into her in the back, he's got his fingers pinching her nipples, and Lathan's tongue is sliding in and out of her. She couldn't help it.

She burst in one warm, creamy wave in Lathan's mouth, but he never skipped a beat. Didn't stop or slow down or anything. Just kept licking as if he were hoping for more. And Olivia, who was practically hunched over at this point couldn't do anything but moan, in between her tedious gasps for air.

As soon as he was done, Lathan got on his feet, and gave her a rest. Using the time to stroke his own length at them. It didn't take long for him to get hard or find a condom so when he announced that he was ready, Olivia had to be too.

Olivia eyed at him as he hovered above her, position his head against her hole. And before Olivia had time to process everything Lathan was inside her, filling her up, stretching her the way Nick would had he been the one to be in his place. Olivia cried out as he began to slowly slide himself in and out of her.

"_Fuck! Yes...yes...yes..." _Olivia moaned as she accepted Lathan's heavier thrusts. He started slamming his body into her even deeper, his hardness hitting every nerve between her pummeled lips and setting her body alight. He pounded her roughly, seething through his own enjoyment, while Olivia pushed back onto him, taking all she can before getting the rest from Nick.

Olivia continued to press hot against him, knowing full well he was going to blow at any second.

"_Tell me," _he grunted.

_"Cum baby, let me feel it." _Olivia begged.

For all intents and purposes, Nick didn't need to be told twice. He ruptured inside her shooting thick seed into her canal before she felt her own orgasm start to grip Lathan. He was still pumping her with urgent force, and not a second later Olivia had exploded on him, positively trembling and shaking her last orgasm of the night.

As soon as she was done so was Lathan. He wasn't there for his pleasure. Only hers. He gave her time of course, let her sit and relax into the sexual high of the moment. But as soon as her eyes began to close, he began his journey home. Starting first with his clothes. And with a final kiss goodbye, he walked out of Olivia's life.

For good.

* * *

><p><strong>No. No warning. <strong>

**Yes. Just he was just an OC.**

**Yes. Nick and Olivia are going to have a serious talk. **

**But first, ELLIOT**


End file.
